Monday, December 22, 2008

Ignore most of this post, as it's in French.

When you read this, most of you are going to scoff at my ambitions.

I want to go to Europe, buy a car, and then drive around in it.

Yes, I am one of those people! But guys, it would be way cool! We could go anywhere we wanted to go! I found the perfect car. Check it out:

Description Le vendeur assume l'entière responsabilité de la mise en vente de l'objet.

Caractéristiques de l'objet - Automobile
Région où se trouve la voiture:



Hauts-de-Seine (92)







Nombre de propriétaires précédents:

Plus de 2




1 275 cm3




50 ch(DIN)

Nombre de portes:


Emissions CO2:


Kilométrage (km):


Boîte de Vitesse:






Date de 1ère immatriculation:

03 Févr. 1994



Date du Contrôle Technique:

12 Déc. 2008

Peinture Métallisée:


Date expiration garantie constructeur:


Durée garantie occasion:


Nombre de places:


Véhicule utilitaire:


Carnet d'entretien disponible:


Accès handicapés:


Equipements de Sécurité:


Equipements Extérieurs:

Jantes alliage

Equipements Audio & Navigation:

Autoradio CD

Equipements de Confort:

Sellerie cuir, Surtapis, Toit ouvrant


CONTACT AU 0660033082

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Bad TV

Ugh, I got sucked into bad TV again! This time it's The Real Housewives of Orange County. And yes, I just have to comment!

Gretchen, it's not just Jeff who holds it against you for knowing jackshit about the Indy Car community! I personally find it unconscionable!

I agree with the rest of the housewives: she's absolutely a bimbo. Ugh, I shouldn't be watching this show.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Finnish Swear Words and Other Fun Phrases I Found on the Internet (Part 2)

Suksi vittuun.

Go ski into a cunt.

Honestly, how did anyone even think that one up!?

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Finnish Swear Words and Other Fun Phrases I Found on the Internet (Part 1)

Tulee puukosta!

I'll stab you (with traditional Finnish puukko-knife).

Okay, who the hell is that precise?!

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Mm, both kind of crap drivers. Don't argue with me.

Scrutineering Returns!

Well, we're officially back! Honestly, blogging is hard. You've really got to work at it. When life throws too much stuff at you (i.e. work and school, but mostly work, dammit!), it's easy to get sidetracked. Then there is lots of catching up to do and all that jazz. There's so much that I want to say, yet somehow can't remember because it's just been too long. So if I miss something or comment on something really late, forgive me. I've been in such a rut after the championship. Really, it absolutely affected my mood! I'd be all blue and depressed thinking about F1 and some days even the thought of Ferrari couldn't cheer me up! Which is a terrifying feeling to have when you are as devoted to the Scuderia as I am. Additionally, Lewis Hamilton is somehow still everywhere, which means six out of seven days when I check Autosport or PlanetF1, I feel like I'm going to vom.

However, back to business. Here's what we're gonna do. We're gonna start with the big news, the really heavy-hitting events!

#1: I am going to Spa!

Oh, wait, were you expecting me to talk about HONDA withdrawing from F1? 'Cause we'll get to that. But since I've had Spa plans (and tickets, for that matter) since October and HONDA just dropped their bombshell last week, well, really, I think I get to go first.

Once I make up my mind to do something, it is hard to tell me 'no.' Sure, I might change my mind later on on my own plans, but most of the time I get an idea in my head and nothing can prevent me from following through. This time, it was Spa. It all came out of me needing to learn German and wanting to go to Stuttgart to study this summer. Since I don't start school next fall until September 9th or something ungodly late like that, I decided that I could conceivably be (semi-)irresponsible, go study in Germany, have a blast, etcetera, and hey, extend my stay in order to trot around Belgium. And since I was going to be in Belgium, why not mosey over to Spa and use my badass Dutch/F1 skills? So I bought the tickets. And wow, what tickets! Seriously, guys, I saved for months. Every penny. All my work money and tips. I did research on the best seats, best places to stand, best places to stay. And then I logged onto and got grandstand seats at Eau Rouge. You can be jealous now.

However, all I can think about in my free time now is going to Spa. It may be eight months away, but I can't wait!

Probably more on this later. Now I've got to get to dinner.

Things You Did Not Know About Ryan Air (Mr. Extra Seat Edition)

Can I purchase an extra seat for a large person?

Yes, large passengers can purchase an extra seat for comfort. To do this you should make a booking online for 2 seats and then enter the passenger name for the additional seat as Mr EXTRA SEAT. Alternatively you can contact our reservations department to do this.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Poll #11: Supposedly Pretty People: Nicole Scherzinger

What do you think about Nicole Scherzinger?
Kind of looks like a tranny. free polls

Letter to the Editor (Election Day Edition)

In the off-season, I think I'm going to start doing a little something called "Letter to the Editor." If it sounds simple, well, that's because it really is. Simply send your questions about F1 (or anything, really; I know about a lot of stuff, haha!) to, and I will post the responses here weekly.

In the spirit of Election Day, we're going to have an election-themed question, because surprisingly there is one of those on hand.

Well, maybe not too surprisingly: It's from my younger brother.

Grant writes,

Hypothetically, if Ferdinand Alfonzo [sic; lol!] could run for president, and it was either him or McCain, who would you vote for?

This was followed by a postscript which reads,

P.S. I'm from Britain

Hypothetically, if I could vote for Fernando Alonso, yes, I probably would. Never mind that Alonso is not an American citizen, nor is he 35, has no idea whatsoever about how the United States Government works, and whose foreign policy experience is, well, being the Goodwill Ambassador for UNICEF. Alonso would not be qualified to be the next president of the United States. But I would still vote for him because he's pretty darn cool. I don't plan on voting for McCain anyways, but it'd be like,

"Hey, John McCain, can you drive an F1 car? Ha, I thought not! That's why I'm voting for Fernando Alonso!"

Alonso would have to have a very good running mate, though. I've always imagined Mark Webber would be a good political figure. He's well-liked, well-spoken, and conscientious, and he looks a bit Kennedy-ish. However, he does tend to make that weird sad face all the time. Which is why Felipe Massa would be my other pick. Actually, Massa and Alonso are getting on rather well these days. And Massa, popular before, has now been virtually beatified (as he should be, because he's fantastic!) after this Sunday (although largely in Brazil, so I don't know how much that would influence the US election). He's also good at giving inspiring speeches (see my post from race day) and he has no truly embarassing vices (unless you count his race superstitions), arrests, or traffic infractions, a la Nelson Piquet or the Hamiltons.

So there you have it, Grant. Given the option to cast my ballot for Alonso and Massa, I certainly would. But since I can't, I'm off to vote for Barack Obama!

Monday, November 3, 2008

It's OVER!?

Ahh, the 2008 season! It's officially over! Where did eighteen races go?!

Today when I checked, I met up with the Countdown Clock... now counting down until 2009... I'd forgotten what a depressing sight that is.*

So, as of right now, 143 days, 15 hours, 22 minutes and 16 seconds until the Australian Grand Prix.

And now withdrawal sets in..

*(Oh, it's equally depressing have to read through all the articles singing Hamilton's praises. But I'm still doing it. Because there's nothing else to do for 143 days..)

Sunday, November 2, 2008

You may have noticed that image of jumbled words on my last post. It's a Wordle of Felipe Massa's most used words in his press conference responses.

Well, just for fun, I did a Wordle of Andrew Davies' "Winners and Losers" editorial column for Monaco 2008, the Grand Prix I attended this year. Click on it to see it larger!

A Gentleman Through and Through

Today Felipe Massa did not become World Champion, missing out by one point to Lewis Hamilton in perhaps the most dramatic Grand Prix finish ever. Although Massa took the win at the Brazilian Grand Prix, Lewis Hamilton managed to pass Timo Glock in the final corners of the last lap to finish fifth and take the Driver's Crown.

In truth, I'd been dreading today since the Chinese Grand Prix. The outlook looked decidedly bleak. I knew deep down this might be this too long a shot.

But in the end, after the initial tears, I'm impressed with how calm I was. I realize this serenity may appear like resignation to "defeat"; as if I wasn't completely invested to supporting my squad this morning. But this isn't true. Obviously I wanted nothing more than for Felipe Massa to take the title. And for a brief moment, the chance was there. However, I can't be up in arms that we didn't take both titles, because realistically there is nothing more I could have asked for or expected from Felipe Massa and Ferrari. We ran the race we needed to run and had anything happened to Hamilton and McLaren, we would have been in the position to win. In the end, though, it was all down to Hamilton, whose finish dictated the final result.

I'm not shocked by the outcry against Timo Glock's (particularly untimely) slip in position during the final corners of the last lap, but I'm disappointed. I'd admonish tifosi to avoid unflattering anti-Glock sentiments. Let's be frank: it's unrealistic to expect a driver to exercise superhuman car control on dry tires in a downpour. And it's unfair to place the blame for Felipe Massa's heartbreaking loss squarely on the shoulders of Timo Glock. Glock's responsibility was and will always be to look after himself and his own race, and I personally find it unreasonable to lambast him for doing this.

Despite the fact that we didn't win the Driver's title, I'm proud of my team. Felipe was nothing but gracious in defeat (see his speeches below for details). Emotional, yes. It was painful to watch him this morning, in tears in the car, choking up on the radio to the team at the end. I couldn't believe he got through the podium. Whenever Kimi Raikkonen gives anyone a hug, you know the situation is serious (voila, a Kimi Raikkonen "hug," below).

(...and now for a real hug! I have to admit, this picture was a day-brightener. Everyone was so somber during the press conference. Alonso looked like he was going to be sick. Additionally, I have never seen Kimi Raikkonen look happier than Felipe Massa. It was kind of a shocker.)

To all those of you who don't think Massa would have been a worthy champion. Look at these pictures. This is a man who put everything into trying to win that title. And if you think differently, well, I have no words for you.

"I think you know the race was just perfect. We did everything fantastically with such a difficult weather. I am so proud about that race I am so proud about the team. I am so proud about the people around who support me more than ever, more than 100 percent, much more than I expected. That is really an emotional day for me. You always do everything perfect even with the temperature but we saw Lewis passing Glock again and that is really mixed a lot of emotions, but that is racing. The race finishes at the chequered flag. We finished in front and we have to be very proud of that, we missed one point but that is racing. We need to be proud about our job, we need to be proud about our race and our championship. I know how to win and I know how to lose. It is another day of my life. I will learn a lot from this day but I am very emotional. Everything perfect today and unfortunately it was not enough, and I think we did a great championship we had some ups and downs and we paid for that. There are races like that, sometimes you have a perfect year with so many victories and a very reliable car, sometimes you have ups and downs, that is racing. One year to the another many things change and that was our championship, but even if we have some ups and downs, I think everybody did a great job, everybody worked really hard to achieve our goals with the heart and sometimes thing don't happen in the way we want, but that is racing, that is the sport, but we need to be happy with our constructors' championship, it is very important. I am sure our president, everyone in the team is very proud, very happy like me - and we need to congratulate Lewis as he did a great championship, he scored more points than us so he deserves to be champion. I know how to lose, I know how to win and it is another day of my life where I will learn a lot. Hopefully we come back here with the title (next year), but it is part of our experience and part of our life."

Friday, October 31, 2008

Lewis Hamilton: Saying more words.

"I think it's because he meant so much to me in my life when I was younger and coming up through the ranks. I can feel his presence. To be named in the same sentence as him is an honour. I don't aim to be or believe anyone can be another Ayrton Senna. He was one of a kind. But I aim to try to make him proud and be as good as he was one day."

Did you think it was Bruno Senna speaking these lines, someone I'd actually let get away with saying this? Well, if this is what you were thinking, sorry, but you're dead wrong.

Lewis Hamilton, there you go again!


Tuesday, October 28, 2008

A Thought

If I were to insist on AHUGA attending the "Masterpieces of the Louvre" exhibit at the MIA, would I spark the same type of division of which Stey-Stey speaks? Hmmmm, interesting..

Monday, October 27, 2008

The text message I find on my phone from my brother this morning..

"Ferrari's are red, porsch's are blue,
Hamilton sucks... wat you gona do?

Saturday, October 18, 2008

The Official Scrutineering Chinese Grand Prix Lap-to-Lap Report

Well, it's the Chinese Grand Prix today. Here in Minneapolis, it's 1:40 am and the weather in China (as far as I can tell) looks overcast but dry, with a chance of Peter Windsor. I'd like to dedicate this lap-to-lap report to Speed's Bob Varsha, who is in Las Vegas right now covering the Barrett-Jackson something-or-other, read: "something-or-other which is definitely not as cool as the Chinese Grand Prix."

1:45: Changes to the grid position are as follow: Mark Webber (Red Bull) drops down to 16th position following an engine change, and Nick Heidfeld will start from 9th on the grid after faulting DC in qualifying yesterday.

1:50: They're showing me Felipe Massa! And now a vignette of all the terrible things that McLaren has done to Ferrari. And all the terrible things that have happened to Ferrari.

2:00: Formation lap is just getting underway. Fernando Alonso, who I have come to love (while inebriated - I don't think I can have any original opinion on Alonso unless I am drunk), is 4th on the grid. I love it! I feel like I have three drivers in a row separateing Hamilton and Kovalainen. Try and help Lewis now, Heikki! Ha!

1:52: Now they have a "Who wants it less?" chart. It's making me sad! If Bob Varsha was here, he'd say something excellent, as he possesses an exemplary vocabulary!

1:55: Win or lose, I'm having a Ferrari party/brawl. There's going to be vodka. And Brazilian food. And a party remix of the Italian national anthem. And I'm going to take the fight to a pinata shaped like Ron Dennis' head.

1:57: Yes, that's right. I may have just referred to Luca di as "the newest cannonized saint." Yes, he has that much integrity.

56: HAM, RAI, MAS hold position, Alonso and KOV scrapping for fourth.

55: Rain expected around lap 14. Hamilton pulling away.

I can't keep this up! I've gotta watch! Check back in later!

CB: UGH, smug Lewis is pulling out a lead over my Ferraris. Alonso has just stated over the radio "I can go as fast as the Ferrari!" which is both silly and not encouraging, and Jarno Trulli is out of the race after a collision at the start with Seb Bourdais.

49: Can it be Kimi Time right away? I needz it. :(

48: +7.311 second lead from Hamilton to Massa. SAD.

47: Webber and Piquet duke it out. Piquet was bringing it to him!! For a minute... In other areas, Massa's tyres are lookin' good. Hope to God Lewis bins it. Ugh, smug, arrogant jerk.

46: Raikkonen's now running a little faster than Hamilton. That would be bitchin' if he could catch him.. And it's Fastest Lap Kimi, complete with adorable blue eyes! :) (Yes, I can be girly sometimes and go nuts over his cute eyes.)

45: Fastest sector times all around for Hamilton, Massa, and Raikkonen!

44: Hamilton's gone sideways. Hope he's doing a number on those tyres... Jerk!

42: Massa in pits! Go, boys, go! Whew, no mistakes.
Alonso pits, as well. BBFLS! Hamilton coming in to pit.
Sutil! Sutil! Stalled at exit to turn 16!
Yay, clean stop Raikkonen! Sweet-ass!

41: Sutil is out. :( Oh, nee!

40: Kovalainen inherits race lead.

39: Heidfeld in pits. 8.3 seconds! REjoins in front of Glock.
ARRGH, I hate Lewis Hamilton.
Just took a drink. Hopefully that kick-starts Kimi time.

38: Kovalainen pits, as does Vettel. Kovalainen does NOT beat Alonso onto the track. YESSSS! But oh NEE, it looks hazy. Rain would suck lots.

CB: Cute Ferrari pic!

35: Heikki has six laps more fuel than Alonso. Hmmm. Alonso's hands look funny. Massa is looking slow, despite being lighter. I'm nervous. I'm very nervous. I'm downright scared.

34: Kubica on a two-stop strategy.

33: Flav is right. No one wants Hamilton to win. No one in their right mind.

32: You just happened to get a good car. You don't live in Afghanistan or Pakistan. What the HELL are we talking about SPEED?

31: Guys, there are like six more Ferrari pit stops this season. After this season ends I have to fins something to do with myself until THE END OF MARCH 2009! What am I gonna do!? I may have to take up knitting or scrapbooking. Ew.

29: Kimi Time dance! Arm waving!

28: I am PUMPED to beat the shit out of the that Ron Dennis pinata.

27: Massa needs to catch up with Kimi. Please. Please, guys. I can't afford to cry myself to sleep tonight.

CB: For realz, I know a lot about F1. Maybe too much. Okay, way too much. I m more invested in F1 than I am in most things. I know more about what's going on in F1 politics than I do in real politics. And that's why it's so important to this tifosi for Lewis Hamilton to not win.

24: Improper hand gestures by Kimi Raikkonen! That's right, flip the V to Fisi! Grrr, don't make my cars lose seconds!

22: Kovalainen lagging behind, as usual. McLaren must be kicking themselves. They coulda had Nick Heidfeld.

21: Heikki has tyre blow-out! Coming in to pit. Tyre fail! Down to 17th.

20: Alonso pits. MANDATES!

20: Felipe, I love ya. Just so you know.

CB: Cute picture of Felipe Massa FTW!

18: Ferraris and Ham-boy have pitted. Felipe's gained ground on Kimi. Down to just over 3 second gap!

17: Come on, Fi! Drive the wheels off that F2008, the prettiest car on the grid!

16: Massa needs a blue shell, says Mark. I think he needs a hug. *HUG*

15: Brake dust and disc glow on the McLaren. Maybe the wheels will just fall off. Fall off right now. Or turn into JELLY BEANS!

CB: Cute Felipe pic! Again!

12: A few laps left. Mm, I dunno, but push, push, push!

11: David Hobbs is making fun of Ferrari and team orders. Shut it! (But it's okay, because I like Hobbs.)

8: We're super close together! Ferrari, that is. :)

7: Felipe just passed Kimi. Thanks, Kimi. You are so nice. :) *HUGS!* Kovlainen pits again? Nope, he's parking it!

CB: Cute pic of Kimi Raikkonen, for bein' so nice!

4: Four laps left. Suspicions that Raikkonen may have a problem? And the conspiracy theories fly.. Ugh.

3: 16.285 s lead over Massa for Hamilton. Grrr. Massa will leave China for Brazil seven points behind Hamilton. Grrrr.

2: Why can't someone good win? Why can't Lewis just lose the tyres? WHY?!

1: Well, it's now or never. That McLaren needs to find its way into the wall or a gravel trap.

FLAG: Provisional Race Results.

1) HAM
2) MAS
3) RAI

Argh, China!

Just finished watching qualifying which didn't go as well as I would have liked, but (as always) it could have been far worse. Here's a mess of qualy times:

01 L. Hamilton McLaren 1:36.303
02 K. Räikkönen Ferrari 1:36.645
03 F. Massa Ferrari 1:36.889
04 F. Alonso Renault 1:36.927
05 H. Kovalainen McLaren 1:36.930
06 M. Webber Red Bull 1:37.083
07 N. Heidfeld BMW 1:37.201
08 S. Vettel Scuderia Toro Rosso 1:37.685
09 J. Trulli Toyota 1:37.934
10 S. Bourdais Scuderia Toro Rosso 1:38.885
11 N. Piquet jr. Renault 1:35.722
12 R. Kubica BMW 1:35.814
13 T. Glock Toyota 1:35.937
14 R. Barrichello Honda 1:36.079
15 N. Rosberg Williams 1:36.210
16 D. Coulthard Red Bull 1:36.731
17 K. Nakajima Williams 1:36.863
18 J. Button Honda 1:37.053
19 A. Sutil Force India F1 1:37.730
20 G. Fisichella Force India F1 1:37.739

Yes, there's smug Lewis at the top. I have never seen Felipe Massa look so angry. Yikes. Honestly, I think if he could have left he could have. It was as if he and Kimi Raikkonen had switched personalities. When they cut back to Hamilton at the end of the post-qualifying press conference, Kimi Raikkonen just started to smirk to himself for no reason. And whilst I was wondering what could be so funny, Felipe Massa sinisterly/gloomily pulls out a gigantic can of Red Bull and stares down the camera during a good thirty second long gulp, then slowly put it back under the table: "Yeah, I want a drink. And your water's not good enough. So watch me drink this Red Bull. So there."

It was too funny.

I have a little nervous for tomorrow..

Monday, October 13, 2008

Fernando Alonso has grown on me.

Fernando Alonso is a hero. Here's why.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

I didn't know!

My name's in the Department Newsletter! I didn't know! I was reading along and all of a sudden, "Hey, that's me!!"

"Undergraduate majors EMILY KAHL and NATALIE GLEASON were this year's recipients of the Patricia and Kenneth Puffer Art History Scholarships, which provided funding for them to attend the May term courses in, respectively, Paris and Rome."

What a shock that was!

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

It's so true!

Tell her she's crazy.

Had a short, low-key Directed Study meeting today. It was ten minutes long: five minutes about reading about Rubens and five minutes about the debate last night. Once again I was urged to vote and to vote for Obama because no one in their right mind would vote for John McCain. So I told him my sister was voting for McCain. To which he replied, "Are you close to her? Can you change her mind?"

And my favorite:

"Call your sister. Tell her she's crazy!"

I laughed so hard.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Can it be hugs time?

I fell asleep last night, sick and utterly exhausted and somehow managed to get some rest. Not my intent! Malheureusement, this ensured that I did not finish my paper for Age of Empire. As a result, I may be crucified by Cathy Asher when I turn it in late tomorrow (well, maybe not, but who knows?). Today I'm still sick. I've got another paper due tomorrow. And it's raining. To top it all off, Bernie Ecclestone axed the Canadian Grand Prix. What could make this day worse!?

Perhaps the fact that I got half of a Cherry Poptart stuck in my toaster?

Monday, October 6, 2008

To hell with anonymity.

This is the first ever photo of me to go onto a post! So if you've been wondering what I look like, well, here I am.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Just realized...

..that we haven't seen this in a while! Excuse me, I have to go pass out because of cute overload.


I'm a student and I work hard; harder than most. This semester, my schedule's booked solid with eighteen (18) credits. I'm taking both my 5000-level ARTH courses this semester, have facilitated an additional 5000-level Directed Study which requires me to compose a lengthy, rather involved paper and I've got my Major Paper on my plate as well. As if the Major Paper alone wasn't enough to contend with, I've got to write the whole darn thing in one semester since my adviser is on a phased retirement schedule and won't be around in the Spring. In light of all this, I've practically moved into the Flemish Art section at Wilson and have been lugging around a little over half of the Corpus Rubenianum. Oh, and I run AHUGA too! As taxing as my academic endeavours may be, I'm relatively happy with how my undergraduate program is turning out. But there's just one little thing...

Yet again I received a text message from my boss. She wants me to come in at 5:45 am tomorrow because she "feels awful and could really use the sleep." She has graciously volunteered to come in at 8:00 am when I am scheduled to arrive ("pfff, what does Emily need sleep for?").

Scroll back up and read the above paragraph. I'm already tacking a 30 hour work week onto that school schedule, against my will. 20 hours? Exactly what I wanted. 25? Steep, but managable. 30? Outrageous. Ludicrous. No, no, no! I'm putting my foot down. Will I go in early tomorrow?


Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Today's Haps in F1: Just a few sentences

McLaren is braggy, Luca di, benevolent*, and Ross Brawn's newest obsession is Nick Heidfeld. Poor Rubens!

*Seriously, what a great guy. Refuses to name that mechanic.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

I MANDATE that you love Felipe Massa. Or at least that you respect him.

What are you doing right now? Nothing of importance. Direct your eyes to this Pitpass article immediately.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

F1 is a total headfuck..

Allow me to be rather blunt: F1 is a total headfuck. One minute you feel like you're on top of the world, the next as if you've been sucker-punched simultaneously by the entire paddock population. It's impossible to describe how ludicrous, surreal, and utterly crushing Singapore was. In the opening laps (in adherance to the dogma of Domenicalisme), I was feeling cautiously optimistic. Two hours later, however, I was wrapped up in bed in my Ferrari flag, unable to do anything but laugh till I cried at the memory of Massa's Ferrari rocketing down the pitlane with the fuel hose slithering after it, looking for all the world like a bright red dragon.

How on Earth could I laugh about something like that? Nothing about that fiasco was remotely amusing. But the whole incident was so bizarre... looking back it was almost comical. What transpired was so horribly wrong that it just didn't seem possible that it could actually could have taken place.

Yes, as you may have gleaned from my posts two weeks ago (depending on how astute/patient you were), the Singapore Grand Prix fell apart for Ferrari during Massa's first pitstop. Somehow someone gave Massa the green and... well, we're all aware of what happened next. I won't name any names, as I know how distraught and guilty that person must feel (also because I have no name to give because Luca di won't tell us who it was).

Unfortunately, this deplorable event led to a drive-through penalty for Massa (unsafe release) ensuring he'd finish outside the points. Yet again Kimi Raikkonen put the car in the wall mere laps from the chequers while running in fourth. And these combined saw Felipe drop seven points behind Lewis Hamilton in the WDC standings and Ferrari lose the lead in the fight for the Constructor's title.

Well, the start of the 2008 Japanese Grand Prix is exactly thirty-five minutes away. I've had my pre-race drink. My pockets are stuffed with Jolly Ranchers. And I'm nervous. Although Kimi's second on the grid, Felipe's not quite were I'd like him to be (he qualified fifth, rather than first). We've brought back the lollipop man of old in favor of the light system, but whenever we have to pit, I get so nervous..

Anyways, time to head over to Mark's friend's place. Forza Ferrari; forza Felipe; Kimi.


While I'm still tipsy, I wanna know...

Reader in Hopkins, who are you? Do I know you? Because you read a lot. And that pleases me immensely. :) So thanks!


Did they just call him "Flava Flav?" Because I would laugh at that all day.

Also, Hamilton, Sr., don't manhandle my driver's family! Your son already makes his son significantly uncomfortable!

Alonso; The Marseillaise

Okay, I'll admit. I'm happy for Alonso. He's a determined guy. So, well, done. Maybe, (just maybe) I might bury the hatchet with you, Eyebrow Man.

Oh, i just had a moment... "Why the hell are they playing the Marseillaise?" Because Renault's a French team. Duhh...


OMG, Kimi did put the car in the wall. At exactly the wrong time. :( Should had drunk the whole litre this morning.

Singapore: Lap by lap (If you like rambling and partisanship, this post is for you!)

51) Massa still lookin' good, despite lodged debris. Raikkonen catching up on Lewser. Catch him, Kimi!

51) Hamilton possibly fryin' the tyres. Let's hope.

50) Raikkonen drives "a stout lap." Thanks, David Hobbs. :)

CB (Commercial Break): Some highlights so far? Kazu's keeping Fernando behind him masterfully. Both he and Rosberg have gone past Trulli (which is kinda sad for me, but also kinda happy. I love both Trulli and Rosberg). Massa still keeping Hamilton well behind him.

49) Alonso in the pits. Raikkonen still hunting down Hamilton. Reel him in, Kimi! Ive got a vodka Red Bull in my hand for you. Yeah, that's right, it is only 7:27 am.

48) Massa resets fast lap. +7.230s lead over Hamilton.

48) Bourdais runs off. :(

47) Piquet into the wall. Is he gonna freak out!? No, but what does he say?: "Sorry, guys." Barichello in and the Red Bulls are stackin'.

46) Berndt Maylander is running around the track. Pit lane's closed. Piquet's out of the car and heading for the exit. Run, Nelsinho, run! Rosberg in; will have to take a penalty. Good stop. For fuel... or a puncture?

46) Barichello is out. Mech problem or outta fuel? Was gonna say a DNF'd be bad for his hopes to keep his race seat, but since FA's staying at Renault..

45) Kubica has to refuel under safety car. 10s time penalty.

45) Barichello is pushed back to the pits. We see Stefano Domenicali. I love him. Wish I could marry him.

45) I'm buzzed, guys. Had that drink and a shot.

45) Might start seeing stacking. But the lane's open now!

44) Massa pits! Go, go, Fi!

44) Raikkonen in. Felipe drives off with fuel hose! Fuel hose is jammed! Under SC again. Car may be close to overheating! The last thing we need!

44) Felipe finally out. Will the engine be okay, though!? It's the light system. Shit. Shit. Shit.

43) Hamilton out ninth? What's going on?

43) Rosberg first behind safety car, followed by Trulli, Fisi in third. Kubica practically leading. Bourdais pits.

43) FUCK.

43) Massa +8.545 behind leader. So pissed. And at Ferrari no less. That makes me sad.

41) Hamilton is gonna say words. And that makes me sad too.

41) Can we possibly get Massa a Bullet? Mario Kart Singapore, anyone? Runs wide on paint. :( At least the engine is holding up.

CB: Guys! Why!? Why does this happen? Are you kidding me?! !!! Also, I'm pretty much totally drunk atm.

39) Rosberg still leads.

39) Massa under investigation. Penalty imminent. :( Rosberg may be penalised too.

38) Kubica gonna get a penalty for refueling under SC.

38) Drive-through for Massa. Sad! Fi, you're still my fave.

37) I want Ferrari to get it together. At least for the rest of the season. And DEFINITELY for next season.

37) Massa takes his DT. Now go, go, go!!!

37) Nico has stop-go penalty. Needs to push. Could he win this?

36) Hamilton still in 8th. Could he just crash out, please? Stuff it, you dolt!

36) This whole thing is good for Alonso. Fuck, why do I now have sympathy for Alonso!? This day just gets harder and harder. Am not gonna cry today, though.

CB: Kimi's still back in 15th. Should I drink more? Rosberg's got 19.4s on Fisi. So minus the stop-go, that puts him where? Ugh.

34) Kubica in for stop-go penalty.

34) Massa behind Bourdais. Is teh uber sad.

34) Webbo off. Loses four positions. Hamilton up to 8th now. Fuck him!!

33) Renault tells us, "Fernando, we're not 100% sure what's happening." Lol. Nico in for penalty? I dunno...

33) Rosberg rejoins in fourth after Alonso. Yay!

32) Hamilton on DC's gearbox. Sadness.

32) Fisi pits. DC, take Lewis out! I will give you eight pennies!

32) Fisi adds a ton of fuel. Raikkonen up to 13th, Massa up to 16th.

32) Webbo retires. May have broken something on the kerb.

31) Trulli is race leader. At least I can rejoice in that. He's up ten spots.

30) In case anyone cared, Jenson Button is in tenth; our funnyman Kovalainen in 11th. I don't really know why he's the funnyman. I'm pretty drunk.

30) Massa passed by Kubica for 15th. :(

30) Fi pits. Go, go, go, hun!

30) If Massa has engine problems, that's bad. We've already used our free engine change. Oh, wait, Bob Varsha just told me he gets his next one for next race.

29) Trulli sets fast lap! Massa needs a safety car. Seb, could you provide one?

29) Hamilton up to 5th. Wanna punch him in the FACE. Trulli pits, btw. Going onto the super softs. Comes out ahead of Kaz in 8th. Kaz gets him, but Trulli fights back.

28) Alonso leads. He met a possum? Well, good for him!

CB: Fact: Actually, no possums are present. Maybe that gopher can come for Hamilton's tyre now. Any gophers vacationing in Singapore, please report to the track.

25) Alonso could win. I think he's an ass.

24) :( Hamilton in 4th. God, can you just smite him!? Or Kimi, can you put the car in the wall? Please?

23) Kaz pipped Trulli? Qu'est-qui se passe?

CB: Kimpaa pipped Trulli. Thanks, you. I'm talking to Matt. I miss him. So Matt, if you're reading this, I miss you much. I hope you have fun in Bologna. Eat some pates bolognese for me. :)

21) Rosberg in 7th. Alonso getting pret to pit. Could actually win this one. Would I be happy? I dunno! Maybe! Argh!

20) Alonso in. 7.6s pitstop. Smmooth.

20) DC! FUCK YOU! Hamilton now in 2nd. You bastard! Both of you!

20) Hamilton still has to pit. Bin it, you idiot!

19) More fuel rig shit for DC. More mechanics go down. That poor Ferrari guy. For realz, first hit by Kimi, then jerked around by Massa; now DC's guy takes a beating.

19) McLaren International is made up of a bunch of heartless, cold robots. And stop thinking you're a football team. Call yourself McLaren-Mercedes and stop putting on airs.

18) Kimppa in 6th. Does he need to pit again?

18) Kimi, I wanna see your late race push! Now! Now! NOW!

17) Kimi in 4th. I love you! You're my Finnish guy! Please do well!

CB: Why can't I major in F1? I know so much. I really would love to work in that sector of industry. What is it? Tertiary, military, F1? I don't think that's right..

14) Brakes going bad for DC. Whatever happened to Vettel?

13) Glock to 5th and my buddy Vettel in 7th.

13) Kovi fastest through Speed Trap.

12) Kimi in 3rd? Is he one-stopppin'? J'ais pas.

12) Kimppa has to stop. :( SADDDDDD. Need a good stop, Ferrari, don't fail me again.

11) Trulli fucks up a bit in Anderson Bridge. Kimi Raikkonen in pits. He's so hot. Please, guys, gimme some fuel well.

11) Ugh, HamBoy in 3rd, Kimi 6th. But we're a Ferrari, let's get it done!

10) Massa needed a safety car. And he makes one. Massa hits wall, Sutil follows him. Still love you, Fi. You're my hero.

CB: Did Sutil lock up? Well, at any rate, he cocked-up. What's going on? This is difficult to follow when you are inebriated.

NB:Don't mix yourself a 50/50 drink at 7:00 am.. It'll fuck you up and you'll cry when your team fucks up.

There are people at my house. I only know like two of them. It's hard to be myself and watch the race like I normally would. You know I've got this Ferrari passion going on. Let's look at the bright side, though. We could walk away with the constructor's championship.


09) RAI in 5th. Mwah!

09) I loves Kimi. Go, Alonso, go! Hamilton right on Rosberg's gearbox.

8) There's no one I hate more than Lewis Hamilton.

08) Kimi, get that TOYOTA! TOYOTA! TOYOTA!

07) Okay, maybe I might throw support behind dear Ferdinand (:)).

04) Three laps left. Hold off Hamilton, Nico!!

04) Kimi into the wall. FUCK. THIS. SHIT. :( All bets are off on my crying. Yeah, I am definitely gonna bawl. :(

03) Ferrari will now be behind McLaren in the constructor's championship. 135 to 134. :(

01) Alonso's bagged it, unless something goes terribly wrong. Good on ya, boy-o.

FLAG: Provisional Results:

01) Alonso
02) Rosberg
03) Hamilton

Alonso! He's hand-talking! Whoa, I never knew he was one!

Why do you do this to me?!

Well, here I am, sitting at my house watching Singapore!! Great start by Massa. Pulling away from Hamilton, but he just ran right over some debris. I thought we established that was bad!!!!


Felipe, debris is BADD!

Friday, September 26, 2008

DeBATE! And I love Singapore!!!!

OMMMMMG!!!!!! WAZIRISTAN. It's right here! Reader from Pakistan, are you from Waziristan!? I'm watching John McCain speak! OMGGGGG! He's so old! Not gonna vote for him. And he said "2/4ths of Juy ago." That's weird. I'm eatin' some Finn Crispzzz because tomorrow is Kimi Raikkonen VODKA FOOD DINNER! Earlier this evening, I said Kimi RAIKKONEN was in Finland. Welllll, he's in SINGAPORE. Whhopps. Speaking of Singapore, I'm super excited. Not about Hamilton. Lame ass.

Now we're talking about Vladimir Putin. I'm gonna go for a walk!

Forza Ferrari; forza Felipe; forza Kimi; forza Obama! Obama has not mentioned the Crimea. BITCHIN'!

Wednesday, September 24, 2008


I'm fairly sure you are all aware that I'm going to be graduating next winter (Dec 2009). As a result, I'll have about nine months before I can commence with grad school. You may also be aware that I've been researching possible activities to occupy myself with. Il y'en a cinq:

1) Be an au pair. Watch kids, make money, live in Europe.
2) Teach English. Talk to kids, make money, live in Europe.
3) Stay here and work. Make money while wishing I were living in Europe (this is obviously not ideal).
4) Get an internship abroad. Maybe make money, while living in Europe.
5) Go to school in Belgium, the Netherlands, Italy, or Germany. Learn things; live in Europe.

Monday, September 22, 2008

Appeal Day (Wordy Version)

The other day someone told me they were "morally opposed" to the movie Death Race because they absolutely could not support its... well, badness. Well, I'm morally opposed to Hamilton winning his appeal Spa chicane appeal in Paris. I hope to God he doesn't. First of all, how can he even appeal this? Drive-through penalties are strictly unappealable (which apparently is not a word: did I mean "unappetizing?" No, I didn't). And people claim Ferrari get special treatment (which is a load of rubbish IMHO)! This appeal is totally unadmissable! If Hamilton wins, he'll have flouted the rules. Secondly, I am a bit miffed that he was so rude to Nigel Tozzi!
"Are you a racing driver? No!"

How disrespectful! And terribly presumptuous! I don't care if you're a driver and he's not! That doesn't make you somehow more right!

The FIA committee needs to stand firm. One of them (preferably Thierry Juillard, because he sounds like a nice old guy) needs to stand up and say, "Bitch, please!"

Appeal Day

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Imprecise. Arrogant. Overrated.
Lewis Hamilton: Wrong for F1.

(Sorry guys, I just watched an Al Franken commercial.)

Sunday, September 21, 2008

A reminder.

For the past several months, my apartment has been anti-Hamilton space. And it's going to stay that way! No ifs, ands, or buts...


OMG, I am seriously craving a Kinder Bueno right now.. They're just so good!

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Once I post it, it's not secret any more. But until then, no peeking!

Oh, while we're on the subject of tipsiness...!

"Kimi Raikkonen (Finnish) Vodka Food Dinner" next weekend!

You know you love this blank stare - be there or be square, mi amici!

(But seriously, if you really want in, lemme know and I'll hook you up with the time and place. No crazies though and above all NO HAMILTON FANS!)

Joe will like this most because in it Kimi Raikkonen sounds smart.

"It's not over yet, but now it will take a miracle, one that makes lightning strike twice."

Kimi Raikkonen has finally admitted that he's more or less out of the running for the championship and hearing that straight from the horses mouth makes me a little sad. However, in a way I may be a little relieved. Maybe now Raikkonen will know he should be there when needed to assist Massa in winning the title. Of course, that means he'll have to be there, which means we absolutely have to sort out the tyre issues (lack of grip) to get both cars back to running consistently at the front... I don't wanna lose, guys! Oh, dears, I think I'm tipsy.. Here are some picz because I'm too muddled to type anymore.