Monday, March 31, 2008

Une Speculation

Je suis optimistique qu'on va voir plutot l'installation de Jean Todt comme president de la FIA.

Thursday, March 27, 2008


What my mom said when I told her I didn't want to go to Life Drawing

"You should go. How many times do you ever get to see a man naked? Without going to a peep show or something."

What is it this week with everyone having something ridiculous to say?!

So this is what I wake up to when I read my articles this morning:

"[Bernie] Ecclestone believes [Lewis] Hamilton's emergence was one of the big reasons for the sport's resurgence.

"We are very pleased with the evolution last season," he told Spanish magazine FHM.

"With the departure of Michael Schumacher, the year could have been disastrous and boring, but fortunately along came a youngster called Lewis Hamilton and saved the season. It was phenomenal."

Ecclestone also compared Hamilton to Schumacher.

"If it wasn't for the helmet, when you see Hamilton behind the wheel you might think it is Schumacher driving. He drives the same way that the impeccable Schumacher did."

WHAT A LOAD OF RUBBISH! And in Kimi Raikkonen's defense, he is talking lots more, thanks very much!

Full article here:,18954,3213_3354356,00.html

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

A Malaysia Recap

I've discovered that I really struggle with writing race recaps. I'd put a lot of this down to how excited I get watching the race. When I get excited, emotional, etcetera, I tend not to remember things very clearly. At least not as a coherent whole. So I think the best way to do this recap is to show you a video. This one's not bad. The music is a little weird, but all in all it has all the good stuff. You even get to see the Smoke Monster eat Lewis's tire, which is pretty money.

This isn't in the video, but the highlight of Malaysia for me (aside from Raikkonen's victory, which was AMAZING!!) was Jarno Trulli (yes, that Jarno Trulli) holding off Lewis Hamilton for 4th. It was so intense and I was totally freaking out. Awesome!

Disembodied Voices and Super Long Arms

It's a lucky thing for Fernando Alonso that my arms don't reach all the way to Spain, because I would be slapping the shit out of him right now. I imagine it would go something like this:

Emily (disembodied voice): Fernando Alonso, you are such a total douche! How dare you openly instigate more negative speculation about Felipe Massa's future at Ferrari?! If I ever catch you saying that you want that race seat again, well, young man, you don't even want to think about what I'll do!! *Slap, slap, slap slap!*

Fernando Alonso: *Stunned expression, as super long arms have just appeared out of nowhere and set about flailing at his head.*

This all stems out of Felipe Massa's DNF at Malaysia, which makes his second DNF of the season. That wouldn't be so bad... except that there have only been two races so far. Yikes. In Australia at least it was an engine failure, so that makes it a bit more acceptable (although one has to say that even if he'd finished, he wouldn't have been anywhere near getting points, having worked his way backwards all race). In Malaysia. though, it was seriously all down to driver error. Watch Lap 31 at 2:22:

He just loses the back end! And this certainly wasn't the race to do it in. Ferrari had bounced back from their disastrous performance at Australia and were running one-two, having opened up a considerable lead over Robert Kubica, the McLarens and everyone else. If things had stayed that way, Ferrari would have pulled past BMW in Constructors Championship points and hung just three points behind McLaren in the standings. Unfortunately, something went wrong. Ferrari issued a statement after the race saying that the aerodynamics stalled when the F2008 hit the kerb, but I know for a fact that they've chalked it up to Massa mishandling. I believe the phrase Martin Brundle used to describe the whole thing was "ambition getting the better of adhesion" (which I find immensely clever). And frankly, it's quite true. Massa is a good driver. He's very talented. But I suspect he lets his heart get the better of his head and hands. Especially with Raikkonen easily overtaking him in Malaysia and making clear who's top dog (not that anyone really needed to say it). He must be absolutely terrified that Kimi is getting such an early lead over him, which will make him #2 once again, and he'll never get to challenge for the title.

But back to the original point of this post. After this all happens, Fernando Alonso (that impersonal Spaniard who generally has plenty of blunt and irritating things to say ) opens his mouth and starts talking shit again! Essentially he says that Massa's driving badly and, well, we all know what that means. Well, at least we know what it means in Fernando's mind: that he should cut ties with Renault ASAP and zip over to Ferrari to snag Massa's seat! What is the big idea, Fernando? I'll say what I said before about Australia: it was a bad race. I guess in Massa's case it's two bad races. In a row. However, what can you tell from two races? If Massa drives like this all season, maybe he has lost his touch. If he consistently fails to perform, let him go. But at least wait until we're more than a ninth of the way through the season to analyze his overall performance! Look what everyone said about Kimi Raikkonen last season. What did he go on to do? Win the World Championship, that's what! So I'm going to do to Felipe what I did for Kimi last season: send good thoughts and be supportive. I'm excited for Bahrain.


I just sat down with all my registration worksheets, my APAS and a course catalog again. I have come to the conclusion that after I finish my summer courses, I only need to take:

- 2 5xxx ARTH courses
- 1 Biological Science with lab
- Freshman Writing
- 1 Upper Division World History course
- 1 Survey course
- How to Do History
- My thesis

That's it! And while it looks exciting (I mean, wow, I could be graduating next Spring,I am still absolutely terrified. Graduation so soon? I still have so much stuff I wanna do. I want to do research and intern and finish my French major. I want to go teach English in France. I need to take my GREs! Maybe I'll take a summer between graduation and grad school and do everything else. OH NOES.

"Coming Soon": Lewis Hamilton Official Website Analysis

Lewis Hamilton's website is disappointingly sparse for how popular he is. I kind of imagined that there might be, well, more? Not that I expected him to launch into any lengthy discussion of his favorite clothing brands, a la Felipe Massa, but it all just seems so abbreviated. Actually, "abbreviated" seems an inappropriate choice of words. Let's use "Coming Soon" instead, as that's what the majority of the website seems to be doing. He doesn't even have an Official Fan Club yet (although it is coming soon)! Despite all the site's shortcomings, this is what I learned about Lewis Hamilton:

Lewis Hamilton has never finished less that 5th in any racing series ever. He was/is the youngest person ever to win the World Karting Championship (at age fifteen in 2000). He pretty much had his career in motor sport made at age thirteen, grace a McLaren and Ron Dennis (this is why I think he needs to work harder and suffer more!). In addition to all this, Lewis likes "Hip-hop, R&B, Reggae and Funky House" (what the hell is "Funky House"?), and many generic things such as gym, books, and DVDs.

Make sure you check out Lewis's charity. It's coming soon:

"Lewis Hamilton will be creating a Lewis Hamilton Foundation in the near future. Please check back for further information."

Monday, March 24, 2008

Notes of Felipe Massa: Official Website Analysis

You learn a lot about people when you visit their fan page. Today I learned that Felipe Massa is an ex-pizza boy who secretly wishes he were in the mafia, has a strange obsession with Robert de Niro, absolutely loves shopping, and is on an eternal quest to someday own a yacht. Additionally, it may surprise you to learn that apparently he has not aged since the age of six, is "underestimated," "zesty," and has an "XXL" talent. Also, he is probably world's cutest baby.

Check out the "A-Z," in which you will learn more about Felipe Massa's love of jeans, and the "Ask Me" section, to find out how he fields questions about Lewis Hamilton's semi-stardom, how much he misses Michael Schumacher, his lucky underwear, and dispels rumors about his watch collection.

My Dad

My parents came down today to visit me since I didn't make it home for Easter. They asked what I was up to, so I showed them my blog and had my mom watch some of the YouTube clips I had posted, etcetera. At some point in this grand adventure we encountered a picture of David Coulthard. So my mom says, "Wow, his head is really interestingly shaped." This is what my dad says:

"Oh, my God! It's like that thing with some Indians where they used to wrap up their heads to shape them! His head must have been in a block when he was growing up! Wouldn't you just laugh every time you looked at him!? Does he have a square windshield for his car? I bet he has a square helmet! (Covers face; continues to crack up for the next ten minutes)"

It was amazing.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Mercedes Misses the Mark?

Ummm, this analogy needed rethinking, Mercedes. Just because everyone likes ice cream, does not mean everyone likes a Mercedes.. Not a direct correlation.

Saturday, March 22, 2008


Malaysia is shaping up to be a good race already. It certainly looks like Ferrari has bounced back with Kimi and Felipe on the front row. I'm so happy! I'm pleased to have the McLarens farther back in the field (albeit they're there because of penalizations*, not because of lack of skill or car troubles). I'm a bit disappointed that Williams is so far down the grid (Nakajima last [partly because of his penalty for taking out Kubica (below left; marveling at his fingers) at Australia] and Rosberg (above) in 16th). I was really hoping they'd be able to challenge BMW for 3rd. It was nice to see Rosberg on the podium last week at Melbourne. I think he is a total sweetie :) (Also, about Nico Rosberg, he barely has any accent. He speaks really amazing English with fairly good grammar.) Also I was so excited that Toyota, especially Jarno Trulli was amazing! Really, in Q3 and lapping fastest in Q2?! I couldn't believe it, but I was very proud nevertheless. It'll be nice to see if Trulli will be able to hold of the McLarens and BMWs and get on the podium. On another note, I'm very happy with Felipe Massa. Watching him in qualifying, he looked much more aggressive than usual. I would imagine he's feeling pressure to get well ahead of Raikkonen early on and become No.1 driver this year. Not much else to say right now, I guess. Just chilling for another twenty-five minutes, waiting for the lights. Also, it's supposed to rain! "Crazy" weather!

* Heikki Kovalainen and Lewis Hamilton were each penalized five grid positions for (possibly intentionally) blocking Nick Heidfeld and Fernando Alonso on their flying laps. See the video here:

Damn, I am great.

Whenever my dad freaks out at my siblings or something that has gone wrong, I always remind him that I am a good kid. I never drank in high school, did drugs, got pregnant, or flunked out. I never stole a car, child, or shoplifted. True, I did steal (read: "never gave back") certain text books, but hey, what can you do? I really am a fairly decent person, although I rarely tell anyone that. The other day when I actually said to someone, "Yes, I am very smart" it was totally weird. I am so bad at talking myself up. But yeah, I am good. Reasons why:

1. I always try to help people. Even people who really piss me off. I would never turn my back on family or friends. And, to my knowledge, I haven't.
2. I give people extra whipped cream and toppings at work, even when they ask for them way late and don't pay for them. I also take miscellaneous cents out of the tip jar when people lack the required funds to make payment.
3. I am generally sympathetic.
4. I brush my teeth up and down the way you are supposed to, not side to side, even though it is harder. (P.S. I know that sounds really lame, but my arm gets tired. Also, I floss.)
5. I never stole the Metro in Paris ever. Or the train, even though I could have about a zillion times.

Maybe there are more.

Friday, March 21, 2008

Jarno Trulli!?!?

What, what?! Jarno Trulli is bringing the heat in qualifying? 4 realz! No way!

Malaysia Quote Decoded

Felipe Massa - 3rd: "I am very happy with these two sessions. The car proved to be very quick and consistent on both types of tyre. It's a shame I was unable to get the most out of the second set of soft tyres, when I found myself behind Hamilton who was going slowly. We are working in the right direction for qualifying and the race."
Felipe Massa - 3rd: "Lewis Hamilton, get your slow ass out of my way!"

Thursday, March 20, 2008



I guess I really should have written this earlier, because all I want to do right now is get the nightmare of Australia out of my head. Seriously, this is pretty much the worst race I could have imagined (well, not really, I guess someone could have died). Honestly, everything was going so well! Especially after the start when Raikkonen jumped up to 8th from 15th! Ah, it was so exciting! And then he lost it trying to go for 2nd, but I guess everyone makes mistakes. Having him stop on track with the engine deal was the worst. Especially because I had seriously said not two seconds before, "Maybe someone else will go out and then everyone can get a point!" And then they cut to him slowing down and it was like, "Argh, Kimi Raikkonen! 'Someone' does not include you, dammit!" Athough I can't really fault Kimi for what was really just a mistake and bad luck, I am going to continue to be a little pissed at Felipe Massa. Really, I just felt like he should have been doing (for lack of a better word ) better, you know? I just don't think he was driving nearly as precisely as he could have been. Seriously, I was of the same mind as David Coulthard about kicking "three colours of shit" out of Felipe (although that crash was by no means his fault). I am just really hoping that Ferrari bounces back from this. I wish they would have just said, "Hey, we had a bad race," but unfortunately they started tossing around words like "reliability issues" and the like. Personally, I think that to say you have reliability issues after one race, when you've run fantastically all through testing is a little extreme, wouldn't you say? If we have the same problems at Malaysia, then I will start to worry. But saying you're unreliable and giving mixed messages about how worried/confident you are that things will continue to go poorly/be much smoother is no good at all. It just gives Lewis Hamilton the chance to shoot his mouth off, which is frustrating. 


Some cool things about Australia: 

1. Diverse podium much?! It was fantastic to see Heidfeld and Rosberg on the podium. I was really pleased with them both, which is why this week's Grand Prix Dinner is German Driver's Night. It would have been perfect if we could have replaced Hamilton with someone else. Or jettisoned him into space or something. 

2. Sebastian Bourdais scores "one point!" (Well, actually it ended up being two points after Barichello's DQ. But David Hobbs said point in French which I found immensely satisfying, because I love franglais.) Super badass exciting race for him either way, minus the problems near the end with mechanical problems. Incidentally, Sebastian Bourdais is passing Tonio Liuzzi in the ranks and becoming my absolute favorite B team driver. Hands down. I think it is because he feels so homey. When he said "Melbourne" on camera in pre-race coverage, it was just like "Ahhhhh!" I think it is something you need to be French to understand. 

3. That guy from Honda proudly announced that he had green pants. Pretty much he was like, "Well, we are pretty much the same, but we have green pants." Extreme LOL!

4. Heikki Kovalainen hits the pit speed limiter JUST AFTER HAVING PASSED ALONSO FOR FOURTH. Lucky break for Alonso. News on that, Ron Dennis has assured Heikki that it is alright (although secretly I bet he is steamed) and has assured us that he is moving that limiter or reconfiguring it so that this never happens again.

5. Kind of exciting crash. Mostly exciting because it really didn't hurt the Ferrari at all. Massa just kept trucking. But watch Coulthard hop off the track. 

Either way, I am excited (although really, really nervous and trying to keep my feet on the ground) about Malaysia. 

Friday, March 14, 2008

AGP Qualy: Oh NOES!

Definitely a major "OH NOES!" situation for Ferrari. Sat down to watch qualifying (slightly drunk) and ended up being a bit despairing (reallly, nearly in tears) after watching Kimi Raikkonen attempt to coast back to the pits with a fuel pressure problem after Q1. Massa ended up fourth, so I guess that I need to really throw my full support behind Felipe at this point, which I am glad to do. The funny thing is that I knew something was wrong right away when Raikkonen was languishing out in 21st at the beginning. I hope they can do something to the car tonight without it costing more grid positions. With Hamiliton on pole and Heikki in third, I'm really inclined to think that McLaren has this race in the bag, unfortunately. However, I can't do anything about it and we won't know until tomorrow. Again, if they can do something with the car, I know that Kimi should easily overtake most of the field. But I guess we'll just have to see. 

On another note, I was absolutely floored by the pace of the BMWs, especially Kubica who came in second. Honestly, for me it came out of nowhere. I wonder if he hadn't run off into the grass if he would have out-qualified Lewis. Perhaps it's BMW that has been sandbagging/downplaying their performance thus far. We now know for certain that the suspected sandbagging team Renault certainly has not been, with Alonso eliminated in Q2 and Piquet in Q3 (although that doesn't surprise me - personally I expect him to crash out tomorrow). 

All in all, cross your fingers and your toes, say your prayers and hope for rain. Forza.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Spotlight on Marc Gene

This post is ENTIRELY about MARC GENE, because right now I am feeling really bad for him. Most of you probably have no idea who I am even talking about. Allow me to enlighten you.
Meet Marc Gene. He's Ferrari's fourth driver, tester number two, and really at the bottom of the food chain since Michael Schumacher arrived to dash his hopes of ever getting to publicly test (let alone sit in, I suspect) the F2008. :( I didn't even think that he was still with the team anymore. I thought they had ditched him, until I read on's 2008 Teams Preview that he was still around. What a surprise that was. I mean, talk about underrepresented. That's terribly uncool. So today I sat down and went to the best source on the Web (Wikipedia) to get information on him. Here's what I found:

Marc Gene is a Spanish driver, specifically from Catalonia (I wonder if he wants to secede from Spain too!). Like all race car drivers, he drove kart and apparently he was quite successful at it, at least in the Spanish championships, as he was the youngest driver to win the Senior Class of the 1990 Kart Championship in Spain. After that he moved through Formula Ford, British Formula 3, FIA Formula 3000, and all that other stuff before he got signed on to race for Minardi in 1999. He did manage to score points one race and they kept him for 2000, but he got axed at the end of the season and went to Williams/BMW-Williams to test until 2004. After that it was off to Ferrari for more testing alongside Luca Badoer, former Minardi teammate.

Marc Gene seems like a pretty practical guy. He has an economics degree from the University of Buckingham and is trained as an accountant, which is surprising. He actually graduated with honors! And he is fluent in four languages! Pretty darn smart. Right now he's signed up to race for Peugeot at Le Mans again. 

Summing up Marc Gene in one phrase? Quote from Pitpass: 
"Marc is highly popular and widely acknowledged as one of the sport's true 'nice guys', maybe too nice for F1. Although we will not see Marc racing F1 cars again, he will surely remain one of the leading test drivers."

Monday, March 10, 2008


Um, just need to let everyone know that I am an


Srsly, flks. 4 rlz.

Friday, March 7, 2008

I might stop disliking Tony George a little bit...

...if he really can get the US GP in Indy back on the schedule.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

What I learned today.

Today I learned that the elitist version of 'Sour Cream and Onion' chips are called 'Creme Fraiche and Chive.' Silly, non?

Tuesday, March 4, 2008


If any of you took my advice to heart and created your own Fantasy F1 teams, I'm pleased to announce that I've created a group. If you'd like to join, look up #528 under 'Join a Private Group.' Password is 'sassoon.'

Monday, March 3, 2008

Alain Prost Needs to Pay More Attention to the News

Quote from Alain Prost ( today:

"The Ferrari will always be there, so we don't know about Kimi Raikkonen and Felipe Massa - it depends on whether Kimi has the same motivation or not," he said. "Fernando Alonso will be just a little bit behind, but quite close."

This whole business was in an article where Prost gives his (positive) opinion about Hamilton winning the championship this year. Not that I would ever dream of counting Hamilton out of the championship, but I just think that Prost is mis-thinking/underthinking this. I don't see why Kimi Raikkonen would not be motivated this season. See here, Alain Prost:

1) Kimi Raikkonen has never been an unmotivated person. Ever.
2) Being title defender is motivation enough.
3) Kimi Raikkonen really deserved to have more titles in the past and therefore wants to win more in the future.

Also, that bit about Alonso makes me wonder if Alain Prost has been paying attention to anything that's happened this winter or been listening to anything Fernando Alonso has been saying. Example:

"We are very far, very far. I think it's looking like at the end of last year: two Ferraris, two McLarens and two BMWs, and if everything goes like that, you can almost only fight for seventh place. Thinking about the podium would be too optimistic right now, but then you arrive in the first grand prix, you start warming up in practice, your morale starts going up and you think you can be on the podium. But right now, thinking coldly, reaching the podium is a dream. In our current shape it will be hard to make it into Q3."

-Fernando Alonso

While I don't agree with the BMW part (Kubica just admitted again today that he sees serious problems with the car and since he is driving it, I'm going to go ahead and believe him), I think Alonso is frankly quite right. Renault really needs a very small miracle or a lot of luck.

Sunday, March 2, 2008

Fantasy F1!!

F1 season starts on the 14th! Since I've been doing the whole Fantasy NASCAR thing, I am certainly doing the whole Fantasy F1 thing. I'm just rounding out my team.

Who I've picked:

A Driver: Raikkonen

B Drivers: Nakajima; ???

Those question marks you see there is my indecision about picking up Nico Rosberg or taking Mark Webber instead. I've been surprised by both Red Bull's and Williams' pace this season. Picking up Nakajima was not a difficult decision. I'm just hoping that he'll be able to manage this kind of competitive pace in a real race. As he hasn't crashed the car lately, I'm very confident.

People I'd strongly advise you to pick:

Obviously picking up Kimi Raikkonen is never a bad idea. I'd plan to use him at Bahrain. Trust me. The one track I definitely think you should run Raikkonen at is Spa. He won it last year, in 2005, in 2004, and based on that I'd say he'll probably win it again this season. Also, it is his favorite track, so you kind of owe it to him.

Mark Webber. Is amazing. And Australian. Has started to look rather good and competitive (and, as always, like a really nice guy) in testing as of late. Incidentally, I just made up my mind a bit ago and picked Webber for Australia, but I might change my mind. Still, I'd use the Red Bulls. (NOTE: Looking forlorn is kinda Mark Webber's thing. This is his signature pose: sad puppy dog face, usually while plugging ears.

Also, David Coulthard (soon the be the Father Time of F1) is all better (neck injury, no more!) so feel free to use him, because he is also quite fast and his head is startlingly square, which I find fascinating.

I really do not want to say this, because I am still a little miffed with Giancarlo Fisichella, but I think he is a reliable B driver pick. He's settling in really well with Force India and so far he's looked fairly comfortable with the new machine. Still a bit arrogant, though.

If you're planning on making up a team, this is who I would try and stay away from:

First off, the BMWs. I'm still skeptical as to whether or not they've sorted out the problems with the car, although they've looked slightly better recently, I think. HOWEVER, if I were going to pick one of the BMWs, it'd definitely be Kubica (R). He's been out-pacing Heidfeld (L) at almost every testing session.

Secondly, (as if I really needed to say this) I would keep away from Super Aguri, as they haven't tested once. That's not a good sign.

Also, I'm inclined to say don't pick up Sebastian Vettel unless Australia goes really well. If you really want to run him, I'd do it when he's still in the 2007 or towards the end of the season after he (hopefully) adjusts to the new car. ( I do think he is a great driver - it's just the car I'm worried 'bout.)

People to be really nice to:

Jarno Trulli: I know I get frustrated with him every other day, but I'm glad to see he's got his confidence back. I'll be watching out for Toyota. They might surprise me.

Sebastien Bourdais: It's his first F1 start and he's nervous about qualifying, so try not to pick on him if he does poorly. And as this is making him sound like a seven-year-old boy, please don't steal his money, break his glasses, or push him off the jungle gym.

Super Aguri again. You've got to feel bad for Anthony Davidson and Takuma Sato. Imagine not having practiced at all. It's got to be frustrating and embarassing. Be kind and don't make it worse for them.

COMING SOON: Emily's F1 Off-Season Awards and 2008 Predictions