Thursday, July 31, 2008


Today's the big day. Scrutineering's 150th Post-iversary. It's kind of a big deal.

I knew this post was going to be really difficult to write. I knew it would involve a lot of back-story and summary and it's hard to condense so many memories and make something coherent out of them. But let's start this shebang with an anecdote, shall we?

I was doing a lot of deep-thinking around the time of the Canadian Grand Prix this June. I was sitting in my dorm at the Cite U in Paris emailing my father a race summary, praising the achievements of BMW and Robert Kubica:

Robert Kubica won his first race yesterday in Montreal. He's the first Polish driver to win a race and to make the day even more memorable for BMW, Nick Heidfeld (GER) nabbed second place. Really a special place to win for Kubica, considering he had a spectacular crash there last year and almost died.

At this point, I remember that I stopped writing and thought "It's so funny that I'm writing this - I care so much." It's because I didn't used to care. Last year I was working on the day of the Canadian Grand Prix. In all honestly, I didn't even know it was taking place. I remember that I went to hang out with Mark at the end of my shift and when I pulled in he came out and said, "Did you hear about Robert Kubica's crash in Montreal!? I can't believe he's okay! You could see his head jerking around and everything!" (Haha, yes, Mark, you did say all that.) While he was going on about Kubica's miraculous survival,* I stood there nodding and pretending to be interested. I know I said, "Mmm, oh, really?" a lot. I distinctly recall thinking "I have no idea who this guy is, why I would even care, and what the hell is a HANS device?" I also remember wracking my brain, trying to mentally locate Montreal..

I was unaware of the fact that in a year, I would know that Robert Kubica is a fantastic Polish driver for BMW, HANS stands for Head and Neck Support system (a safety device which reduces loading to a driver's head and neck in the event of an accident), and that in the future, I would care a whole lot. Also that I would remember that Montreal is, in fact, in Quebec.

I didn't know I was going to start following F1 and that after Kimi Raikkonen bagged the WDC that I'd keep reading and following F1 news and coverage in the off-season. But why did I start a blog? Well, it was basically because all I talked about for days straight was F1. No, for realz, you couldn't get me to shut up! But could you blame me? I'd missed the majority of the 2007 season, I had drama to catch up on! I didn't find out about the spy scandal until mid-November: do you know how much back reading that was?! How many accusations and Ron Dennis mumbo-jumbo?! And since I didn't know who anyone was, I had to look everyone up. In short, the reason I got my blog was so I would have somewhere to write everything I was thinking about F1 so I wouldn't have to subject anyone to my incessant jammer.

As you may know... this didn't work: I still jammer.

And now it's the 150th post. I recently went back through the archives and it's amazing how far Scrutineering has come. We got all high-tech and learned to save our pictures. We added a header and polls. We learned how to embed videos. And I wrote about so much stuff! It all started with the Force India test. But what's happened since then?

We came to the life-changing conclusion that:

Yes, EVF1 was born! I rated the tracks on squiggliness and accidentally burned Honda. Those were also the days when my Ferrari knowledge was paltry. Since, however, I've demonstrated my unparalleled love for my team and have an annoying amount of random Ferrari knowledge. Oh, and I've acquired an ungodly amount of red clothing. Without Kimi Raikkonen, I probably wouldn't have gotten into F1. Or I would have become a McLaren fan or something equally terrifying and would have developed a propensity for verbosity and a love for all things clinical and stainless steel.

I had a drunken diatribe about Fernando Alonso on my birthday... and also some sober diatribes about Fernando Alsonso. And some guilt about Fernando Alonso, because I accustomed myself so quickly to the possibility of having to have him on my team in 2010. And I may actually have reconciled myself to this fact to the extent that I'm kind of excited about it.. Rats! Also, once when I was drunk, I apparently asserted that Jean Todt looked like a manatee...

Felipe Massa, World's Most Adorable Baby, became my favorite driver, mostly because I had a dream that we played "Pretty, Pretty Princess" and it was bitchin'!

We had several gratuitous laughs over David Coulthard's "distinctive jaw line" and several gratitous laughs about Mark Webber's perpetual state of forlornness. Rubens Barichello finally "got to be all smiley" for a bit after Silverstone (a race after which I felt physically ill for days.)

I cried about Kimi Raikkonen after Australia, (although I wouldn't admit, haha - ah, intoxication!) and I wanted to pummel Massa after Malaysia, but he redeemed himself in Turkey, which made my life.

Super Aguri met their demise.

We reported from Paris on Max's confidence vote and I went to Monaco and camped out on Secteur Rocher. Few things I've done so far can stand up next to Monaco. Despite the rain, the train strike, and the Hamilton win, it was an all-around amazing sugar high (literally, because all I was eating were Jolly Ranchers and had had very little sleep). Definitely an experience because I could have touched Pedro de la Rosa, knocked down Karun Chandhok by accident, or told off Nick Fry... if my mind had been working fast enough/correctly..
My blog even came up on Google searches! Which was as shocking (if not more so) than when I found out that I have a larger readership than I realized..

I didn't know anyone ever looked at this thing, but it turns out people do! The first time someone commented who wasn't Mark, Matt, or Joe, I just about had a heart attack. If you've managed to read this far into what is turning out to be post of gargantuan proportions, we really do appreciate you coming around. Feel free to browse around, write to us, hell, write for us, if you think you'd like to give it a shot.

Ultimately, thanks to everyone! As always, fine choice.

I really wanted to try and put some really sentimental music on here (or Joe's Post-iversary techno song that he wrote for tonight!) but I was unable to. So enjoy this instead! I thought it was somewhat fitting.

I say miraculous, because this incident has been filed as evidence in Pope John Paul II's case for canonization, since Kubica raced with the the JP2's name on his helmet.

Mm, new wants..

I've never been shy to speak my mind about the F2008. The opinion that I most frequently espouse? Well, I think the F2008 is quite a looker. Honestly, the car is gorgeous; by far the sharpest car on the grid. There's not really an angle from which it doesn't look stunning. These photos just don't do it justice.

Even hard-to-please Pitpass likes how it looks! Well, at least they love the new Amalgam model. Listen to them gush:

Stunning simply doesn't do it justice. The model, which is constructed from glass fibre, is a limited edition of 250 pieces. Originally developed for commercial use by Ferrari, its partners and sponsors, these 1:5 beauties are now available for fans and collectors alike. The model, which is based on the early season car as used by Kimi Raikkonen and Felipe Massa does not come mounted on a base or with a cover, however these can be supplied.3,250.00 it's going to be outside the price range of many, however, think about it... think of all those silly little things you could easily go without in order to possess such a work of art... drink, holidays, food, your partner, kids, even S&M sessions.

Mm, I has a new want..

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

The Vocabulary That Time Forgot! (Oh, and the shark fin)

On Tuesday we announced that we've decided to run the shark fin engine cover* in Hungary this weekend. I'm apprehensive, to put it in the most rational, least dramatic way possible. Honestly, I desperately want to feel confident and assured and giddy about this, I really do! But admittedly, the thought of it still makes me a little queasy and weak in the knees. It's just an immense gamble, especially on a weekend when we really need to deliver. This is a crucial race! I'm well-aware that every race is critical and merits no less effort than Hungary this weekend, and I'm also cognizant of the fact that gambles like the shark fin (when successful) can give a great advantage and help one get ahead. However, with everyone screaming that Ferrari is in crisis -something I refuse to believe- we need a strong showing to put us back at the top of the standings. And as excited as I am about running the shark fin, well, does it really need to be us? Frankly, better us than someone else, I guess. I know the pros:

1) If the shark fin really is the greatest thing since sliced bread and we're one of the teams (if not the only one) running it at Hungary, that's definitely an opportunity we've capitalized on.

The cons? Well, let's turn to the dramatic side of my brain, which has been itching to spout pessimistic nonsense:

1) I don't want to see the F2008 sprout a sail! One of the major worries with the shark fin has been that it will be adversely affected by crosswinds. I did look into whether or not there was any stock in that rumor and didn't turn up too much, except that McLaren elected not to run it at Hockenheim in part because Fisi blew off track while testing Force India's version.

2) The one day we ran it Felipe only managed to lap fifth fastest... And I just couldn't bear another difficult weekend. In short, I don't want McLaren to absolutely trounce us and have everyone laugh, tut, or tsk at us.

For the first time on a race weekend, the F2008 will be fitted with, amongst other new components, the 'anvil' engine cover after (Felipe) Massa felt in Jerez that it brought some benefits," Ferrari said in their team preview.

Not to belittle Felipe's judgment (I find him as credible, skilled, and downright fantastic as I always do), but I pray that we are making this decision based on more than just his opinion. And if it is, by some stretch of the imagination, it is all down to Felipe's gut feelings, well, I certainly hope he's not horribly wrong..

Ultimately, though, regardless of how panicky this makes me, at the end of the day I'm putting my trust in my team and my faith in the say-so of Stefano Domenicali...

FACT: I haven't used the word "cognizant" in an age.
CONFESSION: Sometimes Jackie Stewart bugs the bejeezus out of me. Haven't used that word in a while either.

*In case you're unsure of what this latest animal-inspired component is supposed to to accomplish, Autosport's Gary Anderson can explain all:
"It's another airflow device. If you imagine the airbox, when you're going at high speed - say over 120mph – it can't take in all the air that is coming at it. So you get spillage around the sides of the engine cover. That spillage can affect the rear wing, so you're trying to tidy that up and get it to the rear wing in as uniform condition as possible."

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Poll #6: Food Fight!: BMW vs HONDA

It seems to be the newest PR stunt: have F1 stars try and make food... Whose food would you rather eat?
Paella from BMW's Robert Kubica and Nick Heidfeld (1)
Pizza from Honda's Rubens Barrichello and Jenson Button (2) free polls

Poll #5: Babies!: Man vs. Wild

It's the ultimate contest of cute: Who is the winner?
Nico Rosberg
Baby seal free polls

* Funny story...

I was recently talking with my sister about this post. She'll probably never vote on here (she eschews my blog, for reasons unknown [which means she will remain naive by choice for her remaining years]), but if she did, she'd vote for the baby seal. Why, you might ask?

Jenny: "Baby seals die. They get killed. Clubbed. (Clubbing motion; while laughing...)

Friday, July 25, 2008

'Dis my new F1 car: a shark

So, we tried the new shark fin engine cover (below; upper) today. Honestly, I think it makes the car look absolutely terrible, but if it works, well, I will complain no more. Hey, it will match the new slotted nosecone (below; lower), which (as you'll recall) also looks like a shark, according to Felipe Massa (below, lowest*):

"It looks like a shark: there's the mouth, there's everything, so I'd say it looks a lot like a shark."

*One can never have enough pictures of Felipe Massa. He and this FIAT, well, it's so much cute in the same picture that I have to look away. :)

HALP, they be stealin' Kimi's words!!

"It's difficult to imagine what a night race will be like. Then doing it on circuits with brick walls everywhere. I think it will be very technical, and very tricky for overtaking... shadows and everything..

Lewis Hamilton, he be stealin' Kimi Raikkonen's word! What is the world coming to!?

Thursday, July 24, 2008


As many of you may have heard, my latest attempt at public speaking (my final presentation for British History) was once again sub-par. While chatting with Austin on AIM tonight, I bemoaned the numerous gaffes I made and quipped that perhaps I would have done better if I could have given the presentation on something "cool," "like 'Why Silverstone will no longer host the British GP'." We were required to have a clear thesis and argument. I would most definitely have been capable of presenting and (vehemently) defending numerous arguments on the matter of "Why I don't think Lewis Hamilton deserves to win WDC." Really, on either of these two topics ten minutes in front of twenty-three people would have been a walk in the park.

Asympt0ta11y (10:38:34 PM):
yea if only there was an F1 politics class
Abreactive Emily (10:39:07 PM): I would rock that class.
Asympt0ta11y (10:40:16 PM): haha no doubt
Asympt0ta11y (10:40:22 PM): you could make one if you become a prof
Asympt0ta11y (10:40:25 PM):
the history of F1

At about this point, I made up my mind: It may be time (okay, it's definitely) time to sit down and hammer out the long-overdue EVF1 (Part 2). In all probability, Ill actually have the free-time to accomplish this, as Summer semester winds down and my classes finish up!

But I've also decided to tackle a much larger project... I do want to develop an F1 Politics class. And while I'm at it, why not attempt to teach the History of F1? Therefore, for Fall Semester 2008 Scrutineering will present its first lecture, one of many in a multi-part series aptly named "F1." At least until I think of a better name..


I've been reading this high school girl's F1 blog. She has a list of her goals. They are:

- To own my own copy of Shopaholic & Baby
- To own the whole set of Gossip Girl books
- To have a Finnish flag
- To have the guts to ask Jeya for F1 tickets
- To go watch FORMULA ONE this year!!!!
- To have a bloody Converse sneakers!

Also listed are:

-See the world, drive nice cars, i wanna have boobies.

So I kind of figured I should have a list of goals, too...

-See (more of) the world: I want to go to Russia, CZ, Portugal, Greece, the Netherlands, Brazil (and so on)...
-Look at real estate in Monaco

-Go to the Winter Olympics (not as an athlete; thought I should clarify that)
-Go to grad school
-Live abroad again (preferably in Britain)
-Get married and have kids
-Get the world's best job
-Learn how to ride a motorcyle
-Spend more time with my family
-Go to Florence and Rome and see art
-Learn Slovenian
-Go to Maranello
-Own a Classic Mini

-Drive across Europe
-Drive a nice (reasonably to moderately expensive) car
-Buy my dad a nice car
-Get in shape
-Have a leather jacket that ages well
-Get a puppy
-Learn how to ride a horse
-Distinguish myself in my field (whatever that ends up being)
-Have more time to read
-Drive the Nurburgring
-Someday be able to afford cable
-Be able to write about F1 and have people read it
-Haha, I wanna own a Finnish and Brazilian flag

And yes, I wanna have "boobies."

Monday, July 21, 2008

Poll #4: Cakes!

Whose has the sweetest cake?
Felipe Massa
Sebastian Vettel free polls

Poll #3: Family Feud: The Backmarkers

Cutest nuclear family: Who has it?
Sebastien Bourdais
Giancarlo Fisichella free polls

Were you aware of it?

Austin posted this on my Facebook today:
"lol im sure you have seen this"

"Kimi trips little kids for pleasure ftw"

Were you even aware of this fact? :)

(Just so we're all on the same page, the mother actually takes out her own child with the binder. Note how she is still too focused on getting Kimi's autograph to pick up her baby. Absolutely not his fault.)

Saturday, July 19, 2008

We are all crazy...

It's really something you need to see...

Wednesday, July 16, 2008


Word on the street is that the Spanish bank Santander is poised to switch their sponsorship from McLaren to Ferrari in 2010. This can only mean one thing: Fernando Alonso is going to Ferrari...

*What will I do?! I mean, when Lewis Hamilton wins or becomes exceedingly unbearable or whatnot, I go and hide in the Ferrari Safe House which is my room! But what will happen if Fernando Alonso infiltrates my precious Scuderia?! Where will I go? Nowhere will be safe! He'll be everywhere, wearing the red overalls, chatting with Chris Dyer. He'll mandate things at my team! I know that I should be pleased that we've secured Alonso. I must admit (although grudgingly) that he's one of the best drivers on the market. But it's not as if there aren't other options. Couldn't we at least try to get Kubica, who's definitely a promising talent to say the absolute least.

Someone recently asked me if I'd stop liking Ferrari should they sign Alonso. If I did, I'd be throwing the baby out with the bathwater. I may accept Alonso; I may not, but I've got a strong, unswerving loyalty to my team. And because of that I'll grin and bear it. But if he ever decides to bring that ridiculous Karate Kid thing back... O NOES, I'm going to need so many contingency plans...

BTW, that feudalism thing? All me..

O HAY, do you like feudalism?

Stenton, Frank. The First Century of English Feudalism, 1066-1166. Oxford: Oxford University Press, 1961. Pp. v-312.

In this adaptation of his 1929 lecture series, Stenton attempts to synthesize the research of various scholars into a cursory text on the development of the English feudal system in the century following the Norman Conquest. As he states in his introduction, this work owes much to the existing scholarship of John Horace Round and Felix Liebermann. The work of these two historians lays the foundation for Stenton’s analysis, which is supplemented by his original research on the Danelaw Charters. His selection of Round and Liebermann as principle sources lends an added validity to the book, as both were considered preeminent sources in the field at the time of the book’s publication.

Stenton’s main argument espouses the idea that feudalism in the popular connotation of the word did not exist as an institution in pre-Norman England, but was an advent of the Norman Conquest. Although it developed along the Norman model in the subsequent century, Stenton maintains that there are sharp differences between the two systems. To evidence this and outline his theory, Stenton turns to the private charters of the twelfth century and other materials produced between 1066 and 1166 in an attempt to enlighten the viewer to “the way [. . .] members [of the twelfth century] regarded the social organization of their own day” (6). Stenton provides a nuanced argument which shows that although common vocabulary and similar systems of organization did exist between the models of feudalism implemented in Normandy and England, there is a stark contrast in the interpretation of Norman feudalistic principles. Stenton evidences these differences through an examination of the Domesday Book and the Bayeux Inquest of 1133, concluding from these sources that the requirements of feudal mainstays such as knight’s fees and services (including but not limited to feudem loricae) were often more generalized in England as opposed to specific in Normandy (15-17, 24). In addition, he supports his claims on the nature of English feudalism through other sources not of Norman production. Stenton references his own research on the Danelaw Charters in his discussion of English notions of knight-service and social order (115, 177). Stenton emphasizes the fact that the Normans were not the only group to have affected the English feudal system, citing Danish and Breton influences which “complicated the first phase of English feudalism” (24-25). In asserting this, Stenton would appear to both simultaneously validate and reject the notion that the Norman Conquest brought an “imported feudalism” to England.

Stenton’s extensive discussion of primary documents lends great validity to the arguments in his text. While these documents are infinitely useful in the author’s discourse, they are, in a sense, the least compelling quality of the book. The extensive quotations from primary documents tend to eclipse their analysis, which often seems to arrive as an afterthought. The proliferation of lengthy passages, however, may simply be Stenton’s compensation for his periodic frustration at the scarcity of comprehensive documents, especially feudal law cases (47).

Although the text is not inherently specialist, it has become more suited to a specialist audience with age. It is important to remember that the text is based on a lecture series from the early twentieth century. The amount of untranslated Latin which appears in the text may be insurmountable to modern readers, few of whom are likely to be well-versed in the language.

Stenton succeeds in his attempt to provide a cursory outline of the beginnings of the English feudal system. He satisfactorily provides a brief and well-documented history of feudalism’s development, which would be of great use to any scholar or enthusiast of medieval history.

Monday, July 14, 2008


Hooray, for having one of the best headlines ever:

‘Timo the terrier’ eager to mark home turf

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Poll #2: Facial Hair: Battle of the Beards

Who has the better beard?
Nick Heidfeld (1)
Jenson Button (2) free polls

Poll #1: Facial Hair: Epic Eyebrows

Who has the superior eyebrows?
Karun Chandhok (1)
Fernando Alonso (2) free polls

Friday, July 11, 2008

On Contracts and Fernando Alonso

It's getting to be that time of year again. The time of year when teams start to announce their driver line-ups. This process will inevitably be impeded by Fernando Alonso dithering, which will grid-lock the paddock well into winter testing. The question is, who's feeling fat (and sassy!) with a contract and who will desperately be scrambling to procure a drive?

About contracts...

F1 contracts are curious. A normal contract is like a barbed-wire fence: rigid, inflexible, and damn difficult to get over or out of if you're trapped in it. An F1 contract is like a chain-link fence... made out of spaghetti. It's made up of loopholes and it's so flexible that it could unravel at any time. No one's contract is set in stone. Virtually anyone can be bought, for the right price, that is. But without further ado, let's proceed.

Oh, Ferrari, how I love thee. You make a beautiful car and install beautiful drivers. And as of right now, they're the same beautiful drivers we have this year! Kimi Raikkonen is contracted with Ferrari through 2009. Despite the fact that he seems fated to retire in the near future, he's assured us that he would never consider breaking his contract and quitting at the end of 2008. Hooray, Kimi, for being a man of your word! As for my favorite zesty Brazilian, Felipe Massa, his contract was extended in February through 2010. Which means that provided nothing changes I can walk around dressed like the Brazilian flag every other Sunday until I'm twenty-three!

BMW looks set with their drivers. Nick Heidfeld's contract runs through 2009, which (in theory) means that we should see him zipping around in the F1.09 next year. However, his less than spectacular showing so far this season puts him in the line of fire for future deals. Robert Kubica's contract, on the other hand, expires at the end of this year. Whatever BMW has asked for, Kubica has delivered. He's snagged the team's first pole and first win, and actually has the team in the running for the driver's championship. So why aren't BMW scrambling to resign him in a hurry to prevent him getting snapped up by such interested parties as Ferrari and Renault? Autosport's Jonathon Noble explains all:

"Sources close to Kubica have told that there is an option in his contract that gives BMW Sauber the automatic right to sign him up for another season."

This option is valid until September and BMW would be supremely foolish not to use it. While there's no rush right now, be assured that Mario Theissen will most likely have to work harder if Ferrari comes calling at the end 2009.

When it comes to McLaren, it's obvious who will be behind the wheel of one of the MP4-24s next year. Yes, you guessed it, it's Lewis Hamilton, who'll be sticking with the team until 2012, bar a cataclysmic fall-out with Ron Dennis. Details on Heikki Kovalainen's contract are unavailable. However, Martin Whitmarsh has commented that the partnership will be "long-term" and since Heikki (albeit having an unremarkable season thus far) has done nothing to disgrace himself, he will most likely be continuing with the team in 2009.

No one fully expected that Toyota would emerge as "the best of the rest" this season, yet that's what they seem to have done. This is good news for Jarno Trulli, whose contract goes "through to 2009." A slightly ambiguous phrase, I can only assume this means he is not contracted past 2008. Trulli has scored 20 of the team's 25 points, managing a podium finish at Magny-Cours. This leaves him well-poised to have to his contract extended. Timo Glock, on the other hand, has reason to fear for his ride. Although his contract ties him to Toyota through 2010, Glock has failed to shine in the first half of the season, with only five points to his name and all but two of his finishes outside the top ten.

Red Bull made a wise decision in early July and extended Mark Webber's contract through the 2009 season. While we'll be able to enjoy that forlorn face for another year, a certain boxy jaw will be notably absent: David Coulthard is set to retire at the end of 2008, leaving his race seat vacant.

In December of 2007, Nico Rosberg announced that he'd extended his contract with Williams to take him through 2009. Frank Williams has recently commented that no amount of money (not even "50 million dollars") will procure an early release for Rosberg, who will undoubtedly have to be pried from Frank's cold dead hands. He let Robert Kubica get away when he failed to sign him years ago, and he will be loath to lose Nico. There is no information readily available on the length of Kazuki Nakajima's commitment to Williams. Continuing improvements in pace and consistency would work wonders in keeping him around for another year.

Renault has been suffering through another less than ideal season. Although it has shown a mild increase in pace in recent testing sessions, the R28's pitiful performance in 2008 could greatly affect who will be piloting the R29. Fernando Alonso returned to the team after an unhappy one-year stint at McLaren and is contracted to the French team through 2009. However, Eyebrow Man may be up for grabs at the end of 2008. Rumor has it that his contract includes something to the effect of a "Get Out of Renault Free" clause, which would release him from his contract early should the team fail to offer him a competitive car. Alonso's departure from Renault will have the same effect as his departure from McLaren: everyone will be thrown into a tizzy and he'll have offers left and right (at the end of 2007, he was offered a drive by every team save Ferrari). The two-time world champion has reputedly been linked with drives at Honda, at BMW as a replacement for Quick Nick, and one which would see him the successor to Kimi Raikkonen at Ferrari in 2010.* Nelsinho Piquet will most likely be out of a drive come November. There are no details on whether he is contracted past 2008, but words cannot convey how poorly he's driving. The best attempt would be "Nelsinho's drives are appalling and I need to look away because eventually the epic fail makes my eyes unfocus!" If you have a lucky charm, send it to Nelsinho, because the boy needs a miracle.

In March of 2008, Honda were trying to rope dear Jenson Button into signing a three-year contract extension. Button had threatened to leave the team at the end of his contract in 2008, but Ross Brawn arrived and may or may not have persuaded him to stay. There is no news on the outcome of the negotiations. Rubens Barrichello's contract will expire at the end of this season, but he's eager to stay with the team. His chances of being resigned are decent. Rubens has pulled off a few nice drives and a splendid podium finish last weekend at Silverstone that was the envy of many of driver.

STR's star Sebastian Vettel has been plagued by bad luck in the first half of the season, with five retirements (mostly the result of rogue backmarkers or DC) in the first nine races. However, in the races where he has seen the chequered flag, he's performed well, and this success could very well earn him a promotion into Coulthard's open seat at Red Bull. His contract with Red Bull is a "long-term" agreement, so either way he seems safe. Sebastien Bourdais's future with Toro Rosso, sur l'autre main, is not so secure. Despite having badass glasses, poor Seb is languishing near the bottom of the standings, tied with Nelsinho for 17th place. This proves to be a dangerous position when you have a one-year provisional contract. With only two points (resulting from his 7th place finish in Australia), four retirements (at least two at the first corner), and eight out of nine finishes outside the top ten, Bourdais will undoubtedly be biting his nails post-Brazil.

Force India is continuing to honor the "long-term" contract that Adrian Sutil had with the team when they were still called Spyker. There's no information readily at hand on how long Sutil is tied to the team, but they should retain him: he was doing a fine job in Monaco until Kimi came along. Giancarlo "Peter Pan" Fisichella is on a one year contract (as far as I'm aware of). Even though he's last in the standings, that's more down to the pace of the VJM01 than Fisi himself. Perhaps he'll continue to grow (older) with the team in 2009. Unless Karun Chandhok comes along; then all bets are off.

* More to follow on this.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Yeah, Ron Dennis!

"You know one single thing that really, really upsets me? It's every time that I read about NASCAR. It's just amazing, they are just full up. Every race is full up, they've got more income, more television revenue and yet it's as boring as hell. That machine is working and yet we've got a much better show."
-Ron Dennis, 2004

You tell 'em, Ron!

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

OMG, he so would!

Yes, he's that guy. The guy with the rabbit ears who may occasionally ruin the odd picture. Unfortunately, you can't fault him for it: Hey, he's Michael Schumacher!

Re-chapeau (Way Late)

Speaking of the Amber Fashion Show in Monaco this May... Well, I guess the point is that we never actually did, so YouTube will now do it for us!

Mark Webber's not bad at the whole catwalk thing, but the award definitely goes to Lewis. He's a natural. Never thought I'd say this, but "Well done, Lewis! Much better than your performance in Troy..."

Monday, July 7, 2008

OH NOES, to the Safe House!

Ahhhh, Lewis Hamilton is even invading my blog!! Scrutineering is retreating into the Ferrari Safe House for a few days, stat! There will be no F1 news for the next few days, because it's kind of making me want to vomit. Once Anthony Hamilton stops talking, we'll be back.

Friday, July 4, 2008

Adopt Jenson Button!

If I had to pick a favorite (contemporary) British driver, who'd it be? Well, that's an easy question: Jense, obviously!
What exactly is it about Jenson Button that makes him so much better than, say, DC or Lewis? To find those answers, we went to for yet another webpage analysis...

We always knew Jense was cool. He's got a bitchin' beard and, hey, he does triathalons! Actually, he's not half bad at them. In fact, he's quite good, finishing 117/1700 in the Windsor Triathlon last month! This result "absolutely chuffed [him] to bits," which is terribly sweet. Awwww....

At First Glance

Overall, we find Jense's website aesthetically pleasing, and we're sure you will too. Mind you, there's no explosion of primary colors and it does lack an A-Z section (which are jackpots of joy), but there's a moderate amount of Flash animation to keep you entertained. This is complemented by a lovely, minimalist background. It's white. Startlingly white. Frankly, it looks like you've fallen into a hamper of crisp, starched linen which just happens to be inhabited by Jenson Button. The page can also be credited with an impeccable sense of organization, snazzy pop-up tabs, and a lovely picture of our hero looking directly at you! Really, how friendly! Well, for the first few minutes, anyways. Then you realize he hasn't blinked in awhile and it becomes rather unnerving.

The Good

As opposed to Lewis Hamilton's webpage which is given over in large part to unabashed vagary, Jense actually likes to talk about himself. No, in a good way! Really, he's very interesting and honest. Hence, we learn some fantastic specifics.

Example: Jenson Button is an individual who is rubbish at cooking, never leaves home without his underpants on, and relishes the memory of "the time when I went faster than Jean Alesi."

The Bad

The headlines are absolutely devastating. They honestly make you tear up. Poor Jenson Button. He's like the adorable F1 child who never gets adopted. Everything starts out so hopefully...

"19.06.2008: 'Hoping for better luck in France'"
"20.06.2008: 'Steady progress in France'"
"04.07.2008: 'Promising start to Silverstone weekend'"

...then catastrophe...

"25.05.2008: 'Eventful Monaco ends in disappointment'"
"22.06.2008: 'More bad luck for Jenson'"
"24.05.2008: 'Jenson rues what might have been'"

It seriously is unbearably sad. I think I went through an entire box of tissues just scrolling through the News section. The triathlon news, however, is overwhelmingly jovial, so if you're trying to steer clear of glum, those are for you.

What to Check Out

Definitely visit the Video section for a listen to the audio blog (not a bad concept that; there might be some sadness, so again, if you're sensitive to that kind of thing, exercise caution) and footage from the jovial triathlons. There's also the gallery, which features a display of creepy fan art, creepy fan photos of Jenson, creepy fan pictures with Jenson, and somebody's dog looking at Jenson Button's website...

The biography section is a good time. You'll learn fun facts, like which BAR-HONDA teammate suggested he belonged in a boy band, rather than a car. Once you've run out of other stuff to do, click on the arrow of the black sidebar on the right-hand side of the screen. There's a surprise, so visit and find out what it is because I'm not telling.

What can we learn from

1. Not even Jenson Button looks good in a turtleneck (see the Monaco gallery). Although the Ecclestone's appear to think so, they're sadly mistaken. Also, Petra, that sweater design is definitely for girls.
2. Also looks extremely silly in a swim cap.

Thursday, July 3, 2008

On Fan Power

Lewis Hamilton will turn to fan power this weekend in his bid to land a British Grand Prix victory.

What was going through my mind whilst reading this sentence?

1) "What, they're attaching a fan to his car? Are they really that desperate!?"

2) Wait, attaching a fan to his car... they can't do that, it's illegal! Brabham tried that in 1978 with the
BT46B (pictured below), but the FIA banned it!

Halfway through the article I discovered they meant the zeal of British racing spectators, aka fans..

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

An Astute Observation... and a "Whoops"

McLaren F1 CEO Martin Whitmarsh has called for the sport to do a better job of catering to the interests of its fans and believes teams should make more information available to television viewers.

He acknowledged that Formula One is an entertainment business and that hardcore fans would benefit from increased broadcasting of information such as pit-to-car radio transmissions, current fuel loads, and strategic data.

You're right, Martin Whitmarsh, I would benefit immensely. And we don't agree on anything. Usually I kind of find you a huge tool. Whoops...

Tuesday, July 1, 2008



How come James May can say "pikeys" on TV, but Martin Brundle can't?
6:53; check it out, yo.

I would not say...

I would not say...
The Berlin Wall was in Western Europe.

I would not say...
Las Vegas is in Arizona.
It even says "Nevada" right on the sign. C'mon, people!