Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Allow me to be rather blunt: F1 is a total headfuck. One minute you feel like you're on top of the world, the next as if you've been sucker-punched simultaneously by the entire paddock population. It's impossible to describe how ludicrous, surreal, and utterly crushing Singapore was. In the opening laps (in adherance to the dogma of Domenicalisme), I was feeling cautiously optimistic. Two hours later, however, I was wrapped up in bed in my Ferrari flag, unable to do anything but laugh till I cried at the memory of Massa's Ferrari rocketing down the pitlane with the fuel hose slithering after it, looking for all the world like a bright red dragon.
How on Earth could I laugh about something like that? Nothing about that fiasco was remotely amusing. But the whole incident was so bizarre... looking back it was almost comical. What transpired was so horribly wrong that it just didn't seem possible that it could actually could have taken place.
Yes, as you may have gleaned from my posts two weeks ago (depending on how astute/patient you were), the Singapore Grand Prix fell apart for Ferrari during Massa's first pitstop. Somehow someone gave Massa the green and... well, we're all aware of what happened next. I won't name any names, as I know how distraught and guilty that person must feel (also because I have no name to give because Luca di won't tell us who it was).
Unfortunately, this deplorable event led to a drive-through penalty for Massa (unsafe release) ensuring he'd finish outside the points. Yet again Kimi Raikkonen put the car in the wall mere laps from the chequers while running in fourth. And these combined saw Felipe drop seven points behind Lewis Hamilton in the WDC standings and Ferrari lose the lead in the fight for the Constructor's title.
Well, the start of the 2008 Japanese Grand Prix is exactly thirty-five minutes away. I've had my pre-race drink. My pockets are stuffed with Jolly Ranchers. And I'm nervous. Although Kimi's second on the grid, Felipe's not quite were I'd like him to be (he qualified fifth, rather than first). We've brought back the lollipop man of old in favor of the light system, but whenever we have to pit, I get so nervous..
Anyways, time to head over to Mark's friend's place. Forza Ferrari; forza Felipe; Kimi.
Oh, i just had a moment... "Why the hell are they playing the Marseillaise?" Because Renault's a French team. Duhh...
51) Hamilton possibly fryin' the tyres. Let's hope.
50) Raikkonen drives "a stout lap." Thanks, David Hobbs. :)
CB (Commercial Break): Some highlights so far? Kazu's keeping Fernando behind him masterfully. Both he and Rosberg have gone past Trulli (which is kinda sad for me, but also kinda happy. I love both Trulli and Rosberg). Massa still keeping Hamilton well behind him.
49) Alonso in the pits. Raikkonen still hunting down Hamilton. Reel him in, Kimi! Ive got a vodka Red Bull in my hand for you. Yeah, that's right, it is only 7:27 am.
48) Massa resets fast lap. +7.230s lead over Hamilton.
48) Bourdais runs off. :(
47) Piquet into the wall. Is he gonna freak out!? No, but what does he say?: "Sorry, guys." Barichello in and the Red Bulls are stackin'.
46) Berndt Maylander is running around the track. Pit lane's closed. Piquet's out of the car and heading for the exit. Run, Nelsinho, run! Rosberg in; will have to take a penalty. Good stop. For fuel... or a puncture?
46) Barichello is out. Mech problem or outta fuel? Was gonna say a DNF'd be bad for his hopes to keep his race seat, but since FA's staying at Renault..
45) Kubica has to refuel under safety car. 10s time penalty.
45) Barichello is pushed back to the pits. We see Stefano Domenicali. I love him. Wish I could marry him.
45) I'm buzzed, guys. Had that drink and a shot.
45) Might start seeing stacking. But the lane's open now!
44) Massa pits! Go, go, Fi!
44) Raikkonen in. Felipe drives off with fuel hose! Fuel hose is jammed! Under SC again. Car may be close to overheating! The last thing we need!
44) Felipe finally out. Will the engine be okay, though!? It's the light system. Shit. Shit. Shit.
43) Hamilton out ninth? What's going on?
43) Rosberg first behind safety car, followed by Trulli, Fisi in third. Kubica practically leading. Bourdais pits.
43) Massa +8.545 behind leader. So pissed. And at Ferrari no less. That makes me sad.
41) Hamilton is gonna say words. And that makes me sad too.
41) Can we possibly get Massa a Bullet? Mario Kart Singapore, anyone? Runs wide on paint. :( At least the engine is holding up.
CB: Guys! Why!? Why does this happen? Are you kidding me?! !!! Also, I'm pretty much totally drunk atm.
39) Rosberg still leads.
39) Massa under investigation. Penalty imminent. :( Rosberg may be penalised too.
38) Kubica gonna get a penalty for refueling under SC.
38) Drive-through for Massa. Sad! Fi, you're still my fave.
37) I want Ferrari to get it together. At least for the rest of the season. And DEFINITELY for next season.
37) Massa takes his DT. Now go, go, go!!!
37) Nico has stop-go penalty. Needs to push. Could he win this?
36) Hamilton still in 8th. Could he just crash out, please? Stuff it, you dolt!
36) This whole thing is good for Alonso. Fuck, why do I now have sympathy for Alonso!? This day just gets harder and harder. Am not gonna cry today, though.
CB: Kimi's still back in 15th. Should I drink more? Rosberg's got 19.4s on Fisi. So minus the stop-go, that puts him where? Ugh.
34) Kubica in for stop-go penalty.
34) Massa behind Bourdais. Is teh uber sad.
34) Webbo off. Loses four positions. Hamilton up to 8th now. Fuck him!!
33) Renault tells us, "Fernando, we're not 100% sure what's happening." Lol. Nico in for penalty? I dunno...
33) Rosberg rejoins in fourth after Alonso. Yay!
32) Hamilton on DC's gearbox. Sadness.
32) Fisi pits. DC, take Lewis out! I will give you eight pennies!
32) Fisi adds a ton of fuel. Raikkonen up to 13th, Massa up to 16th.
32) Webbo retires. May have broken something on the kerb.
31) Trulli is race leader. At least I can rejoice in that. He's up ten spots.
30) In case anyone cared, Jenson Button is in tenth; our funnyman Kovalainen in 11th. I don't really know why he's the funnyman. I'm pretty drunk.
30) Massa passed by Kubica for 15th. :(
30) Fi pits. Go, go, go, hun!
30) If Massa has engine problems, that's bad. We've already used our free engine change. Oh, wait, Bob Varsha just told me he gets his next one for next race.
29) Trulli sets fast lap! Massa needs a safety car. Seb, could you provide one?
29) Hamilton up to 5th. Wanna punch him in the FACE. Trulli pits, btw. Going onto the super softs. Comes out ahead of Kaz in 8th. Kaz gets him, but Trulli fights back.
28) Alonso leads. He met a possum? Well, good for him!
CB: Fact: Actually, no possums are present. Maybe that gopher can come for Hamilton's tyre now. Any gophers vacationing in Singapore, please report to the track.
25) Alonso could win. I think he's an ass.
24) :( Hamilton in 4th. God, can you just smite him!? Or Kimi, can you put the car in the wall? Please?
23) Kaz pipped Trulli? Qu'est-qui se passe?
CB: Kimpaa pipped Trulli. Thanks, you. I'm talking to Matt. I miss him. So Matt, if you're reading this, I miss you much. I hope you have fun in Bologna. Eat some pates bolognese for me. :)
21) Rosberg in 7th. Alonso getting pret to pit. Could actually win this one. Would I be happy? I dunno! Maybe! Argh!
20) Alonso in. 7.6s pitstop. Smmooth.
20) DC! FUCK YOU! Hamilton now in 2nd. You bastard! Both of you!
20) Hamilton still has to pit. Bin it, you idiot!
19) More fuel rig shit for DC. More mechanics go down. That poor Ferrari guy. For realz, first hit by Kimi, then jerked around by Massa; now DC's guy takes a beating.
19) McLaren International is made up of a bunch of heartless, cold robots. And stop thinking you're a football team. Call yourself McLaren-Mercedes and stop putting on airs.
18) Kimppa in 6th. Does he need to pit again?
18) Kimi, I wanna see your late race push! Now! Now! NOW!
17) Kimi in 4th. I love you! You're my Finnish guy! Please do well!
CB: Why can't I major in F1? I know so much. I really would love to work in that sector of industry. What is it? Tertiary, military, F1? I don't think that's right..
14) Brakes going bad for DC. Whatever happened to Vettel?
13) Glock to 5th and my buddy Vettel in 7th.
13) Kovi fastest through Speed Trap.
12) Kimi in 3rd? Is he one-stopppin'? J'ais pas.
12) Kimppa has to stop. :( SADDDDDD. Need a good stop, Ferrari, don't fail me again.
11) Trulli fucks up a bit in Anderson Bridge. Kimi Raikkonen in pits. He's so hot. Please, guys, gimme some fuel well.
11) Ugh, HamBoy in 3rd, Kimi 6th. But we're a Ferrari, let's get it done!
10) Massa needed a safety car. And he makes one. Massa hits wall, Sutil follows him. Still love you, Fi. You're my hero.
CB: Did Sutil lock up? Well, at any rate, he cocked-up. What's going on? This is difficult to follow when you are inebriated.
NB:Don't mix yourself a 50/50 drink at 7:00 am.. It'll fuck you up and you'll cry when your team fucks up.
There are people at my house. I only know like two of them. It's hard to be myself and watch the race like I normally would. You know I've got this Ferrari passion going on. Let's look at the bright side, though. We could walk away with the constructor's championship.
BUT IT'S NOT WHAT I WANT!!
09) RAI in 5th. Mwah!
09) I loves Kimi. Go, Alonso, go! Hamilton right on Rosberg's gearbox.
8) There's no one I hate more than Lewis Hamilton.
08) Kimi, get that TOYOTA! TOYOTA! TOYOTA!
07) Okay, maybe I might throw support behind dear Ferdinand (:)).
04) Three laps left. Hold off Hamilton, Nico!!
04) Kimi into the wall. FUCK. THIS. SHIT. :( All bets are off on my crying. Yeah, I am definitely gonna bawl. :(
03) Ferrari will now be behind McLaren in the constructor's championship. 135 to 134. :(
01) Alonso's bagged it, unless something goes terribly wrong. Good on ya, boy-o.
FLAG: Provisional Results:
Alonso! He's hand-talking! Whoa, I never knew he was one!
Friday, September 26, 2008
Now we're talking about Vladimir Putin. I'm gonna go for a walk!
Forza Ferrari; forza Felipe; forza Kimi; forza Obama! Obama has not mentioned the Crimea. BITCHIN'!
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
1) Be an au pair. Watch kids, make money, live in Europe.
2) Teach English. Talk to kids, make money, live in Europe.
3) Stay here and work. Make money while wishing I were living in Europe (this is obviously not ideal).
4) Get an internship abroad. Maybe make money, while living in Europe.
5) Go to school in Belgium, the Netherlands, Italy, or Germany. Learn things; live in Europe.
Monday, September 22, 2008
"Are you a racing driver? No!"How disrespectful! And terribly presumptuous! I don't care if you're a driver and he's not! That doesn't make you somehow more right!
The FIA committee needs to stand firm. One of them (preferably Thierry Juillard, because he sounds like a nice old guy) needs to stand up and say, "Bitch, please!"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
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Imprecise. Arrogant. Overrated.
Lewis Hamilton: Wrong for F1.
(Sorry guys, I just watched an Al Franken commercial.)
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Saturday, September 20, 2008
"Kimi Raikkonen (Finnish) Vodka Food Dinner" next weekend!
You know you love this blank stare - be there or be square, mi amici!
(But seriously, if you really want in, lemme know and I'll hook you up with the time and place. No crazies though and above all NO HAMILTON FANS!)
"It's not over yet, but now it will take a miracle, one that makes lightning strike twice."
Kimi Raikkonen has finally admitted that he's more or less out of the running for the championship and hearing that straight from the horses mouth makes me a little sad. However, in a way I may be a little relieved. Maybe now Raikkonen will know he should be there when needed to assist Massa in winning the title. Of course, that means he'll have to be there, which means we absolutely have to sort out the tyre issues (lack of grip) to get both cars back to running consistently at the front... I don't wanna lose, guys! Oh, dears, I think I'm tipsy.. Here are some picz because I'm too muddled to type anymore.
Friday, September 19, 2008
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Monday, September 15, 2008
What/where is Monaco?
Monaco is a small principality located approximately 20 km from Nice, FR. Although it is situated within the borders of France, Monaco is nevertheless a sovereign country governed by a constitutional monarchy, not Nicolas Sarkozy.
Despite the fact that French is the official language of Monaco, Monaco is not part of France.
Even though Monaco is serviced by France's national rail system (SNCF), it is incorrect to assert that the city-state is governed by the French national government.
Although Monaco was indeed under French control immediately following the French Revolution, the principality has been independent from France since 1861.
Monaco is a tax haven (no income tax is collected), a fact which distinguishes it from France where citizens are required to pay income tax annually.
In conclusion, (you've guessed it!) Monaco is not France!
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Yesss! Felipe! You drove in the wet! You didn't spin! You didn't let Lewis by! You were great!
*Note: Do not confuse Sebastian Vettel's "monster drive" with this monster drive. They are of somewhat different natures.
Farther down the standings, Felipe Massa finished 2/10ths of a second ahead of Lewis Hamilton to claim sixth place, closing the gap in the title fight to a single point.
Ferrari's Kimi Raikkonen was unable to work his way up the grid, finishing outside the points for the third grand prix in a row. The Finn achieved fastest lap on lap 53, his eighth of the season.
PROVISIONAL RACE RESULTS
The Italian Grand Prix
Autodromo di Monza, Italy;
53 laps; 306.720km;
Pos Driver Team Time
1. Vettel Toro Rosso-Ferrari (B) 1h26:47.000
2. Kovalainen McLaren-Mercedes (B) + 12.512
3. Kubica BMW Sauber (B) + 20.471
4. Alonso Renault (B) + 23.903
5. Heidfeld BMW Sauber (B) + 27.748
6. Massa Ferrari (B) + 28.816
7. Hamilton McLaren-Mercedes (B) + 29.012
8. Webber Red Bull-Renault (B) + 32.048
9. Raikkonen Ferrari (B) + 39.468
10. Piquet Renault (B) + 54.445
11. Glock Toyota (B) + 58.888
12. Nakajima Williams-Toyota (B) + 1:02.015
13. Trulli Toyota (B) + 1:05.954
14. Rosberg Williams-Toyota (B) + 1:08.635
15. Button Honda (B) + 1:13.370
16. Coulthard Red Bull-Renault (B) + 1 lap
17. Barrichello Honda (B) + 1 lap
18. Bourdais Toro Rosso-Ferrari (B) + 1 lap
19. Sutil Force India-Ferrari (B) + 2 laps
Fastest lap: Raikkonen, 1:28.047
Driver Team On lap
Fisichella Force India-Ferrari (B) 12
World Championship standings, round 14:
1. Hamilton 78 1. Ferrari 134
2. Massa 77 2. McLaren-Mercedes 129
3. Kubica 64 3. BMW Sauber 117
4. Raikkonen 57 4. Renault 41
5. Heidfeld 53 5. Toyota 41
6. Kovalainen 51 6. Toro Rosso-Ferrari 27
7. Alonso 28 7. Red Bull-Renault 26
8. Trulli 26 8. Williams-Toyota 17
9. Vettel 23 9. Honda 14
10. Webber 20
11. Glock 15
12. Piquet 13
13. Barrichello 11
14. Rosberg 9
15. Nakajima 8
16. Coulthard 6
17. Bourdais 4
18. Button 3
Saturday, September 13, 2008
I woulda missed this..
This post about Monza has a lot of parentheses, pictures, and some guy named "Ferdinand Alfonzo"?...
Now imagine what it must be like to drive in that! Apparently, it's been nearly impossible, especially at the Ascari chicane where aquaplaning seems to have been the order of the weekend. In light of the conditions, the running order has been a tad out of whack. Let's have a look at qualy times, shall we?
01 S. Vettel Scuderia Toro Rosso 1:37.555
02 H. Kovalainen McLaren 1:37.631
03 M. Webber Red Bull 1:38.117
04 S. Bourdais Scuderia Toro Rosso 1:38.445
05 N. Rosberg Williams 1:38.767
06 F. Massa Ferrari 1:38.894
07 J. Trulli Toyota 1:39.152
08 F. Alonso Renault 1:39.751
09 T. Glock Toyota 1:39.787
10 N. Heidfeld BMW 1:39.906
11 R. Kubica BMW 1:36.697
12 G. Fisichella Force India F1 1:36.698
13 D. Coulthard Red Bull 1:37.284
14 K. Räikkönen Ferrari 1:37.522
15 L. Hamilton McLaren 1:39.265
16 R. Barrichello Honda 1:36.510
17 N. Piquet jr. Renault 1:36.630
18 K. Nakajima Williams 1:36.653
19 J. Button Honda 1:37.006
20 A. Sutil Force India F1 1:37.417
Now, who would have expected that!? Hooray, Sebastian Vettel for taking Toro Rosso's first ever pole position and swiping the title of Youngest Pole Winner from our good friend "Ferdinand Alfonzo" (an explanation on that will follow shortly)! Just look how happy he looks, awwww!
Also, who ever thought they'd see Seb #2 (Bourdais, that is) start a(n F1) race on Row 2?! Toro Rosso has really uped their game in the past few races. I'm really impressed! Props also to Kovalainen, Webber, Rosberg, and... well, actually pretty much everyone, because pretty much everyone out-ran Massa, Raikkonen, and best of all Lewis Hamilton (yesss!!), who made a lamentable tyre choice (smirk!). Dear Lewis decided to put on intermediate wets rather than keeping the extreme wets everyone else was using. And even after he came in one lap later to put on the extremes, he still failed to get out of Q2, as did Kimi and Robert Kubica (oh, sad!).
In that respect, Felipe was lucky: he nabbed 10th, advanced to Q3, and ultimately managed to qualify 6th on the grid next to Nico Rosberg (yay!). It'll be interesting (albeit nerve-wracking as ever) to see how he'll do tomorrow if it's a wet race. If he can keep it together and finish in front of Hamilton, he'll lead the standings going into Singapore! And you know, it could be dry tomorrow too, which would be even better! Anyways, keep your fingers crossed!
Thursday, September 11, 2008
I'm supremely excited about Monza. It just feels special. Perhaps it's because Ferrari is on home turf. Maybe it's because I've never watched a grand prix there? All that aside, from what I have read, it's an amazingly challenging track, high-speed and taxing on nearly every part of the car, from the engine to the brakes to the tyres. Combine these aspects with the fact that it's apparently monsoon season in Monza and you've got yourself a winner of a race.
Despite how stoked I am for Sunday, I've got a bit of a quandary on my hands, namely:
"Which driver will I formally support?"
If you've been perusing my blog recently, you'll no doubt have seen that Kimi Raikkonen is back in my good graces. I'd love to see him do well, because I have a weakness for underdogs. That facet of Kimi Raikkonen may have been the foremost reason why I became a staunch Ferrari fan last season rather than becoming enamored with the stainless steel empire which is McLaren. Admit it, don't you occasionally catch yourself thinking, "Is it even possible for him to come back from 19 points behind the Hamilton and win it? Do you think he could really do it?" You've got to concede that that would be brilliant.
As much as I'm curious about Raikkonen's ability to make up that much ground in five races, I've also got to consider the other Maranello man, Felipe Massa. Frankly, with two DNFs at the season's start, a unenchanting 13th place finish at Silverstone, and 17th place in Hungary (what a tragedy!), he's had to work his ass off! Massa has impressed me so much this season. He's made such an effort to be consistent, smart, and safe (except at Silverstone - that spinning was terrifying) and I believe he deserves the title. Also, he is super cute and cuddly (see proof below).
It's a tough call. Do I continue to support Kimi in his championship endeavors, even though it means he could draw points from Massa and therefore increase Hamilton's chances of pulling away in the standings? Or do I opt to back Felipe exclusively, relegating Raikkonen to a supporting role and essentially hanging him out to dry (below, see how affronted he would be if I did this)?
Stefano Domenicali, you must be in one hell of a conundrum..
There's no denying that I have been immensely disappointed by Kimi Raikkonen's performance in the past several grand prixs. After his performance at Valencia, I was absolutely livid.Whereas Massa was brilliant (minus the near-miss with Sutil) and Hamilton was whinging as usual ("Wah, I slept on a 'dodgy pillow' and got a neck pain, oooh"), Raikkonen's drive was inexcusably sub-par from the beginning. Jumping the light at his second pitstop and running down his refueler had me steamed and the subsequent engine failure was just the absolute end. Last Sunday I was equally furious with Raikkonen after he got my hopes up with a promising start and well-executed drive, then stuffed the F2008 three laps from the "green-white-checker" (as Joe would say, but it's known to everyone else as the finish line, lol). Yes, in the immediate aftermath of Kimi Raikkonen's retirement, the 2007 WDC was dead to me. I was delirious with misery. I vowed to never mention his name again... a measure which lasted for a whole two hours, as I have no self-control. As I've said before, it's just really hard stop liking Kimi Raikkonen..
Kimi Raikkonen's failure to finish the Belgian Grand Prix in a points-paying position (let alone finish, period), may have been a mite disappointing.* But I saw the attitude I've been wanting to see from Kimi Raikkonen for some time. When Raikkonen finally weighed in on the dramatic last laps of Spa, he didn't deliver another tired variation of "Obviously today didn't go as we wanted it to." No, he quite plainly stated that the whole thing was, in effect, all or nothing and that "[he] only wanted to win." And that for me, is excellent! I saw effort and that's all I've ever wanted from Kimi. I wanted some affirmation that he was doing everything humanly (and supernaturally!) possible to put that Ferrari across the finish line in P1!
I'm sure you're all aware of the Raikkonen-Hamilton affair and how egregiously Lewis Hamilton and McLaren feel they have been treated. Honestly, watching the race, I didn't initially see Hamilton gain any advantage. But then again, I'm not a steward and I'm although I know an inordinate amount about F1 in relation to the gross majority of girls my age, Americans, etcetera, I'm still fairly new to this whole business.
Watching it play out again, I definitely see how Hamilton potentially profited from cutting the chicane. He never would have been as close to Raikkonen if he hadn't cut the corner. But this really isn't a topic I want to discuss here. (I feel obligated, however, to post the footage so you can judge for yourself.) There are plenty of other websites which will gladly rehash this for you, analyze it from every angle, and allow you to -if you so choose- subject yourself to the wrath and opinions of Niki Lauda. Personally, I refuse to alienate my readership in the same manner as other sites (PF1, that means you!). I know, I know: I'm really nice! More to follow on Monza and as always,
*I wasn't nearly that nice when actually watching him spin, then crash into the wall. I believe I actually lambasted him with the phrase "OH, Kimi Raikkonen, you fucktard!! Hey, I was in agony!
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Oh, also... I've been toying around with the idea of applying for a Fulbright and/or Marshall scholarship. Both are hard. The Fulbright selects 1500 US students and funds their graduate research abroad. The Marshall scholarship picks 40 who want to go to grad school in Britain. Last year 883 people applied. It begs the question. Am I better than 884+ kids with GPAs over a 3.7? Yikes.
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
By comparing the results with a database containing detailed information on 80 bottles from the Bordeaux region from the 19th century to the present day, the tests can help indicate the vintage of many wines.
"Authentication is possible due to the complexity of the processes of glass manufacture which have evolved over time and to the variety of production centers which give each object a characteristic 'signature' made up of many elements," the CNRS said.
Particle accelerators take a particle, such as an electron, speed it up to near the speed of light and smash it into an atom to discover its internal workings.
The new test extends existing radioactivity tests on the actual wine itself, which are currently incapable of identifying vintages prior to 1950.
The test was developed in cooperation with London-based wine dealer The Antique Wine Company.
(Reporting by Claude Canellas; Writing by James Mackenzie; Editing by Crispian Balmer)